Comments on: Ideas: What Does Gay Look Like?

By: rachle

rachle — Wed, 12 Jan 2011 09:23:03 +0000

I decided that if I ever come out of the closet, I will wait until my hair is really long. I don’t really like the stereotypical lesbian look, as funny as that sounds. I mean, I am kind of butch but it bothers me when I go to a gay bar and 90 percent of the women ARE indeed wearing flannel shirts, lumberjack boots and crew cuts… (not that I have a problem with how people look, because it isn’t my business)… maybe just because stereotypes in general bug me. Strange though, because the women I am very attracted to are always very androgenous.

By: shelby

shelby — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 00:55:38 +0000

“everyday.”
thats the truth.

By: Rhea

Rhea — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 14:58:35 +0000

Great piece, Jean. Though I identify as straight, I found myself nodding vigorously as I read. Maybe because I have this “other” identity as a hippie throwback in a clean-cut city–someone who bikes around and ferments sauerkraut on my countertop. I would probably be received very differently if I stayed in sweaty bike clothes at work rather than mopping up and putting on heels, or ate my homemade lunches out in the cafeteria. I think of the ability to go back and forth sometimes as a luxury, other times as a game, and now and then as a kind of cowardice (why not wear my inner identity on my sleeve 24/7 like you do?) Perhaps it is trivial to compare a few lifestyle choices with sexual orientation, but the parallels really got me thinking. In my opinion, it shows your writing is even more awesome.

By: T

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 16:34:12 +0000

I love this topic.

When I first went overseas to a gay bar in an Eastern European city. Almost every woman asked me, “Do you know this is a gay bar?” I thought it was obvious…they didn’t.

Recently, going to an overseas pride everyone saw me as lesbian. Coming back to a more conservative country where they aren’t allowed to have pride. In no time talking about pride and my community, non-English speaking co-workers translated Gay Pride easily. Before I knew it they were talking amongst themselves in front of me and calling me the Washington Dyke.

This was surprising since the little bit have have been here, I have been perceived as a lost tourist, activist lesbian, dyke, and straight co-worker. The perception of what is queer or “other” is interesting and something that will have many people coming out constantly.

By: Mark

Mark — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 11:56:24 +0000

Whether you pass for straight or look "Gay" it's all an affectation constructed by social pressures forcing you to conform to something. Yes. The "Gay Box" is equally confining. How can you be sure you're not "passing" as Gay? I doubt you'd agree that looking housewife or diesel is an honest, authentic expression of your actual self. Pick a look you like (the real you independent of social pressure) and stick to it. Don't wait until you're 40 to get over yourself and realize Official Gay Culture is kind of bullshit. Do the work now.

By: Lauren

Lauren — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 20:28:23 +0000

Very interesting topic. You know, the idea of a “lesbian haircut” is inherently offensive, however, you’re absolutely right. Simply having a haircut like the one you describe identifies you as “other” in people’s eyes. This is not necessarily a bad thing. Hey-it helps you get dates sometimes! :) Thanks for the interesting article. I hope to see you write more on thenewgay.net.

By: cdc

cdc — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 17:17:15 +0000

interesting topic.

my girlfriend and i take advantage of the fact that people on the streets and at our workplaces don’t know we’re gay (though it’s a annoying when we get hit on by guys). however, we’ve also found that when straight people find out that we’re a couple they are forced to realize that lesbians aren’t always fat, flannel-clad, feminazis that the media makes us all out to be. funny how both feminine and butch appearances can make people think differently about sexuality.