This post was submitted by Zack Rosen

As always, I’ve valiantly taken some time out of my work week to listen to a number of new CDs this week and let you know which are worth your time and which wouldn’t even drive you to the hospital if you get hit in the eye with a sparkler.

Full list, in descending order of awesomeness, below the fold:

REALLY AWESOME:

Artist: Care Bears on Fire
Album: Get Over It!
Who the hell are they?: Deceptively rockin’ trio of teenage girls
Sounds like a combination of: Veruca Salt and The Veronicas
For Example: Everybody Else
Recommended?: Surprisingly, yes. Just don’t be weirded out if your niece and grandpa like them too.
Release Date: July 14

Artist: Dirty Projectors
Album: Bitte Orca
Who the hell are they?: Experimental R & B-ish Brooklyn critics darlings.
Sounds like a combination of: Grizzly Bear and Whitney Houston
For Example: Stillness is the Move.
Recommended?: For showing how a solidly good album can get sucked into the hype machine and overwhelm its songs with its reputation.
Release Date: June 9

Artist: Felix Da Housecat
Album: He Was King
Who the hell are they?: Synth-embracing electro mainstay
Sounds like a combination of: Sylvester and The Human League
For Example: We All Wanna Be Prince
Recommended?: For washing the taste of “Silver Screen” out of your mouth and actually having fun.
Release Date: August 25

Artist: The Low Anthem
Album: Oh My God, Charlie Darwin
Who the hell are they?: Low-key, melodic Rhode Island trio
Sounds like a combination of: Jenny Lewis and Galaxie 500
For Example: Charlie Darwin
Recommended?: Highly.
Release Date: May 19

Artist: Rock Plaza Central
Album: …At The Moment of Our First Needing…
Who the hell are they?: Toronto band whose latest album is influenced by “A Light in August.”
Sounds like a combination of: Tom Waits and the “Oh Brother, Where Art Though Soundtrack.”
For Example: Handsome Men
Recommended?: Yes.
Release Date: June 16

Artist: Royalchord
Album: The Good Fight
Who the hell are they?: Electronica-tinged Australian pop.
Sounds like a combination of: Beach House and Beth Orton
For Example: Turn My Life Around
Recommended?: Very strongly. I like this one.
Release Date: August 4

PRETTY AWESOME:

Artist: Broken Records
Album: Until The Earth Begins to Part
Who the hell are they?: Edinburgh chamber punks
Sounds like a combination of: Frightened Rabbit and The Twilight Sad
For Example: If You Don’t Like The News, Don’t Watch It.
Recommended?: For drinking a lot of whiskey while listening to Cozy FM.
Release Date: July 7

Artist: Flying Machines
Album: Flying Machines
Who the hell are they?: AM Radio-appreciating New York foursome
Sounds like a combination of: Ben Folds and John Mellencamp
For Example: On A Whim
Recommended?: For it’s jaunty theatrical touches, not its anonymously Stokes-ian choruses.
Release Date: September 8

Artist: Gene Dante and the Future Starlets
Album: Romantic Lead
Who the hell are they?: Boston pop/rockers (who actually sound a little like Boston.)
Sounds like a combination of: David Bowie and Steve Winwood
For Example: C Star
Recommended?: For anyone who grew up listening to as much classic rock radio as I did. Or for people with posthumous crushes on Marc Bolan.
Release Date: This past February

Artist: Holiday Shores
Album: Columbus’d The Whim
Who the hell are they?: Lo-fi (yet squawky) Florida garage pop
Sounds like a combination of: The Shins and Telekinesis
For Example: Phones Don’t Feud
Recommended?: Yes, but not if you’re trying to relax or focus on anything.
Release Date: August 4

Artist: Hollands
Album: Faces EP
Who the hell are they?: Alternately quiet and hooky Brooklyn duo
Sounds like a combination of: Cheap Trick and (sigh) The Strokes.
For Example: Over and Out (Myspace player, fourth track.)
Recommended?: For its songs, not its originality.
Release Date: November 08

Artist: Major Lazer
Album: Guns Don’t Kill People… Lazers Do
Who the hell are they?: Cartoon alter-ego of MIA producers Diplo and Switch, and a large number of high-profile guest vocalists
Sounds like a combination of: Sean Paul and MIA
For Example: Hold The Line (feat. Mr. Lexx and Santigold)
Recommended?: Once again, it doesn’t matter what I think here because everyone’s gonna love this regardless.
Release Date: June 16

Artist: Or, The Whale
Album: Or, The Whale
Who the hell are they?: San Francisco alt-country 7-piece
Sounds like a combination of: Natalie Merchant and The Band
For Example:Datura (3rd Track.)
Recommended?: Yeah.
Release Date:

Artist: The Strange Boys
Album: And Girls Club
Who the hell are they?: Austin garage rockers
Sounds like a combination of: Bob Dylan and Sam Sham and the Pharoahs
For Example: Woe is You and Me
Recommended?: Sure.
Release Date: March of this year.

NOT AWESOME AT ALL:

Artist: Ancient Astronauts
Album: We Are To Answer
Who the hell are they?: Yet another pair of producers making hip/trip hop-ish music with a host of guest rappers
Sounds like a combination of: Portishead and Naughty By Nature
For Example: Risin’ High (feat. Rashaan Ahmad)
Recommended?: No. People need to stop making records like this.
Release Date: June 9th.

Artist: The Fire and Reason
Album: Do It Again EP
Who the hell are they?: Unsigned (but LOGO award winning) NYC party-starters.
Sounds like a combination of: Lady GaGa and Yelle
For Example: Do It Again (Blogula Remix.)
Recommended?: What does it matter what I think? In one year they’ll be playing at every gay club and gym from here to Oz.
Release Date: June 9

Artist: Priscilla Renea
Album: Hello, My Apple EP
Who the hell are they?: Newly signed YouTube star
Sounds like a combination of: Lilly Allen and an ousted Destiny Child’s member
For Example: Hello My Apple
Recommended?: The above song only.
Release Date: March of this year.

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