This post was submitted by JayBezz, an openly gay music artist under independent label HOBO Records.  His debut studio album Evolove is available online August 4^th.

In 2001, I made the decision to create and perform music.  Initially, I was surprised by the amount of acclaim and support I received.  After some talent showcases and county fair performances, I was finally getting in touch with tour promoters, small labels, sponsors, and other industry insiders.  I was extremely excited to have the ability to hone my craft and share my voice.  However, I did not understand that “the industry” had very different plans for me.

I specifically remember a show I performed in Houston, with a then unknown R&B artist singing a cover of a classic Hip Hop track.  I had already learned that there are benefits and drawbacks to performing covers. You get the benefit of recognizable lyrics, but when you’re not so well known, everyone wants to be a critic.  The coin was tossed and luck, along with the crowd, were not on his side.

After his performance, the MC came out and introduced me with a mispronounced name — I was gripped with terror!  But it was time to “face the music,” so I adjusted my corset, pulled down my fedora, and stepped out onto that stage.  The magic worked.  I won over the crowd singing an original song I wrote, a song they had never heard before.  By the end, they were singing and screaming their love.  I took a bow and walked backstage with a huge smile on my face.  The show promoter was consoling the previous act and I heard him say, “At least you don’t go out there dressed like a fag.”  Suddenly, the atmosphere became a vacuum, and I couldn’t breathe.

There has always been homophobia in the entertainment industry.  People have been told to hide their relationships, change their lyrics, dress differently, and much more.  When I began in the music industry, it was expected that my lyrics would be about “her” and who “she” was to me.  I remember sitting in the studio with the lyricists they brought in and talking about how we can effectively change all the men I referenced in my lyrics to women.  There was talk from managers about getting me a beautiful girlfriend to hang on my arm.  There were photo shoots where I struggled to keep the baggy jeans they brought from wardrobe from falling to my ankles.  It took some growing up to realize what I had become.

I was a blank canvas — a mannequin that they would use to sell their product.  My input in the creative process diminished as I moved toward achieving success.  What does one do when he’s getting his dream at the cost of himself?  I quit.  I went off to college to study engineering and thought I would leave it all behind.

When I returned to music in 2005, I knew that I was going to have to be myself this time around.  I spent years of time and money to make this happen my way, by my terms.  I wrote songs about all the “he”s and “him”s of my life.  It was time for the industry to make a change.  As with all change, I had to look at the man in the mirror first.   I changed how I viewed my old friend, who had rapidly become by biggest foe.

“The industry,” as she is now named, constantly told me that I would not make it unless I fit her strict and sporadically changing standards.  She continuously tried to lure me back under her submission and although I denied her requests at each turn, after a point it became clear that she would not be easily silenced.  No longer in the mood to tolerate her advances, I searched for tactics I could use to get her off my back.

I soon discovered that the resolution was as simple as the problem: I just needed to fuck her.  There is no romance in it.  I make love to my only mistress — my music. That is how I keep my integrity intact.  Since discovering the industry’s Achilles heel, I am able to be creative and successful in spite of what she has told me.  And what’s better,  now many other artists have decided to take back their voices as well.  The industry is losing her power as days go by and more and more people spread the secret: “Fuck the industry.”

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