Original illustration by TNG illustrator Cathryn.

My sister used to always say that Jessica Rabbit, Roger’s wife, was the most beautiful woman in the world. Though I used to find it odd that the title could belong to a cartoon character, I am consistently surprised at which ink creations people are drawn to. I have a friend from highschool who had a crush on Futurama’s Fry, and don’t even get me started on how many people out there are secretly attracted to Nala from The Lion King. I think she singlehandedly kick-started furry/plushy culture. So, without further ado, this week’s staff survey question is as follows:

What cartoon character do you have the biggest crush on?

Feel free to leave your own answer, or suggestion for future survey question, in the comments box.

1. Zack, Co-founder and primary contributor:

Too many to count. It’s embarrassing. Though a friend once mocked me for remarking that Samurai Jack looked really nice in a sweater, and I had a weird moment where a guy I was dating said I reminded him of Abe Lincoln from Clone High, my all time biggest cartoon crush is Andy French from the way-underrated show Mission Hill. He’s a lanky, barely-hygienic slacker with permanent stubble and a habit of hanging around the house in nothing but briefs. In short, he’s my type. 

2. Michael, Co-founder and primary contributor:

I think I was hot for Snake Eyes, the GI Joe character.  Something about that black mask, I think. 

3. Rocky, Music Editor:

Even with the hair, is there a person alive who wouldn’t sleep with [The Venture Bros.] Brock Samson?

4. Corey, Managing Editor and Staff Contributor:

Gaston from Beauty and the Beast.  He may be an asshole, but “now that he’s grown he eats five dozen eggs, and he’s roughly the size of a barge,” and I want to go down on that.

5. Jean, Staff Contributor:

I was 13 when Disney’s Pocahontas came out and not quite queer yet – although almost all Disney men, regardless of how “manly” they are drawn, have some feminine softness about them. It wasn’t Mel Gibson’s
golden-maned John Smith that caught my eye, it was Thomas, the trusty ginger sidekick voiced by Christian Bale that demanded I rewind the old VHS.

Christian Bale? H-O-T.
Gingers? Yup. H-O-T.

Almost 15 years later, I’d still hook up with Thomas (although, I’d have to ask my girlfriend’s permission first).

6. Amelie, Staff Contributor: 

I always had a weird “do I want to be her/do I want to do her” thing with Belle from Beauty and the Beast. It was probably a combination of the two…I wanted to be a pretty French girl that likes to read that goes to live in a castle with a sweet library, except with Belle, not the Beast. 

7.Chris, Theatre Editor:

Oh, He-Man, for sure.  The loin cloth, the “big sword” and the way he’d ride that tiger/panther thing.  He’d be a fun Saturday night.  But the one to take home to Mom would be Fred from Scooby-Doo.  He’s crafty, what with solving all those mysteries, good with animals and always dressed like a perky sailor.

8. Jenny, Boston Editor: 

Mulan.  This requires no explanation if you were gay (for either gender) when this came out, or interested in cross-dressing.

9. Adam, Chicago Editor:

Tom Sloane from Daria. Apparently I find apathy hot.Can I also add Casey from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Hockey players are also hot.

Editorial Staff:

10. Jolly, Events Editor:

Captain Planet, with his chiseled physique, skimpy outfits and liberal political views, always got me hotter than the hole in the ozone layer.

11. Hans B., Editorial Assistant:

Back in the day I had friends who were really into anime, so I’d end up watching it (most of it against my will). I never got into anime, but some of the male characters were totally do-able.TNG