Though gay marriages polarizing effects on the populace at large are evident in seemingly every newspaper and evening new show from here to Provincetown, the issue can be just as divisive in the gay community as well. People seem to be torn evenly between the “marriage is a fundamental civil right” argument and the “marriage is heteronormative institution I want nothing to do with” camp. Considering the gains gay marriage has made in the past couple weeks, this weeks staff survey question is as follows:

How do you feel about marriage? Civil right, outdated heteronormative holdover, or something else entirely?

Feel free to leave your own answer in the comments box. Enjoy!

1. Zack, Co-founder and primary contributor:

I see the merit in all the arguments about marriage being a flawed institution to begin with and that queers should find their own system instead of jumping on board the matrimonial raft of the medusas that the rest of society has to endure. However, I want to get married. I want a legitimate way of showing myself, my boyfriend and the rest of society that our relationship is just as serious and committed as any straight couple. However, I dont think we have to adopt the idea that marriage means that end of all fun. Whatever your relationship looked before marriage should be how it looks after. Just with the added assurance that your significant other is in it for the long haul, even if you want go out drinking with the boys once in a while… or blow them afterwards.

2. Michael, Co-founder and primary contributor:

I spoke my peace on why I support gay marriage already in a post called Why Marriage Matters, but I’ll reiterate: people tend to work better in pairs, regardless of whether those pairings are gay or straight couples. It’s in all our best socio-economic interest to make sure every member of society is functioning at peak performance. Gay couples deserve all the same support mechanisms as straight ones. The “equal rights” argument can be easily ignored by biggots. However, no one can deny that we can achieve greater goals as a people if those people are happier and happily paired up if that’s how they excel.

3. Corey, Managing Editor and Staff Contributor:

Marriage is like one of those things when you’re a kid that you don’t really want or give a fuck about, but you don’t want your sister to be able to have one if you can’t, too. Since there is little chance of getting a Freedom to Spit On the Christian Right bill through most of the statehouses, this is pretty much a runner-up measure for me.

4. Amelie, Events Planner and Publicist:

Things I enjoy include: parties, dresses, excuses for being a control freak. Getting married usually entitles you to have a big party, wear a pretty dress, and be a complete control freak. Thus, I am pro-marriage.

5. Chris, Theatre Editor:

A good straight friend of mine was totally against the “institution of marriage” and swore it off completely. For other friends’ weddings, she’d give them memberships to the American Association of Single People. Fast forward a few years, she’s met her future husband overseas and now needs that same institution of marriage to help her with visas and immigration. It’s a tricky situtation and one that points out a lot about marriage: it’s a wonderful thing to be shared by two people intensely in love who want to spend the rest of their lives together. It’s also a very powerful legal act. I think it’s important to understand both sides. Someday I do want to be married, but moreover, I want the choice to chose not to.

6. Adam, Chicago Editor:

I wish I had a definitive personal answer on marriage but I don’t. I haven’t even been in love yet. At 23, I’m still young and naive enough to hope for that great love that will result in marriage but I’ve experienced enough to be wise and realistic about the possibility of not getting married. I’m ok with accepting that because I feel like I could still be happy with my friends and family for me not to need it. I think its a personal need/want to be married. If you want/need it, go for it. I’ll support you but only if there is an open bar and single men to flirt with at the reception.

Editorial Staff:

7. Hans B., Editorial Assistant:

9.Jenna, Editorial Assistant:

I don’t know if I’ll ever personally want to get married, especially now that Maggie Gyllenhaal is spoken for, but I absolutely believe that access to the civil institution of marriage is a right, and we all need to start fighting a little harder for it. Check out the local organization DC for Marriage (at their website or on Facebook), sign their “I Do in DC” pledge, and stay involved.TNG