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1 April 2009, 2:30 pm 3 Comments

Ask A Straight Guy: The Presets’ Kim Moyes

This post was submitted by Zack Rosen


Kim Moyes (left) radiates heterosexuality.

No, don’t adjust your monitor. Ambiguous Aussie synth-bangers The Presets actually are straight. Despite a stated penchant for The Pet Shop Boys, a song named after a bathhouse and the world’s most homorotic video, the duo of Kim Moyes and Julian Hamilton is totally about the pussy. Or at least the boobs. Legs, maybe? I didn’t ask them that much, but I know that dick isn’t their thing. Julian spilled the hetero beans in an in-depth interview I did with him last year, so to celebrate tonight’s show at the 9:30 Club decided to get some words straight from the mouth of the other Presets horse.

So yeah, Kim Moyes was nice enough to answer some of my questions about being straight. You can check out the full interview and a Presets mixtape below. DC residents can see the band tonight at the 9:30 Club. (Their opener, Golden Filter, is highly recommended as well.) Everyone else should take a look at their extensive tour schedule and see if they’re coming to a city near you.

The New Gay: When did you first realize you were straight?

Kim Moyes: In 1976 when I slid out of my mum’s vagina, I wanted to climb straight back in. I realized then that I was different. I stopped being gay when my mum found me playing with my neighbours’ willy. I was five years old.

Needless to say I grew to love a firm (but fair) woman.

TNG: What is your least favorite stereotype about straight people?

KM: That men think about sex over 100 times an hour, and that when women say “no” they really mean “yes” (which we all know is true.)

TNG: What obligations, if any, do you feel that you have to the gay community?

KM: I have a rather heightened Gaydar. I can always tell when someone needs to be gently kicked out of the closet and don’t mind helping them. For example: pashing them (Austalian for French kissing) and sending them on their merry gay way.

TNG: What are the biggest challenges faced by a straight person in today’s culture?

KM: The biggest challenge? “Paris is Burning” or “Grey Gardens“.

TNG: If you had to “go gay” for one member of the same sex, who would it be?

KM: Is there someone that has the brain of Bruce Willis but the body of Stephen Hawking?

TNG: Given the seemingly endless number of “indie” artists in existence today, how do you think you set yourself apart from the crowd?

KM: By gently lying on a bed of urinal cakes [while] wearing a double denim tuxedo. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.

TNG: Finally, why should Washington, DC come out and see you play tonight?

KM: Because if you don’t ‘come out’ all you will be doing is sitting at home playing with yourself… Plus we’ve heard that DC is chock-a-block full of indie-loving, straight acting, Bears, Cubs, Otters, Silver Foxes, Twinks, Power Bottoms, Toxic Text Book Fags and Sergeant Icons. [Editors' note: It's true!] TNG

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  • golikewater said:

    Did it occur to you that the the video is homoerotic because the only people who listen to this type of music are gay men?

  • Brandon said:

    From that interview I’ve come to the conclusion that they are deffinetly gay lol sorry

  • Ray said:

    I’m horrified and disappointed to realise that Kim is straight. I only discovered them in the last week and love some of the songs from their Pacifica recording. And the homoerotic videos are hot, what a gorgeous man he is, hunky, hairy and devilishly good lucking. What a waste!