This post was submitted by Summer Camp

What Would Summer Do? is an advice column for TNG readers posted every other Wednesday. Do you have a question for Summer Camp? Send it to her at wwsd@thenewgay.net.

Dear Summer,

I have been dating the same guy for the past three months. I really like him, but with the last few warm weekends, I am reminded that summer is around the corner. It’s time to pack away the sweaters, hoodies, and all my bulky crap. Is the boyfriend something I only need to pull out of the closet for the winter months? WWSD!

Yours Truly,
Brady

Dear Brady,

Thank you for your letter. This is the easiest question I’ve received in a long time. The answer is: YES!

Just put your bf in a plastic container and slip him under the bed or into the closet or just put him out on the street with a used coffee maker and a sign that says, “Free.”

I don’t care if you’ve been with your slumber buddy for three months or three years, when the summertime hits, it’s time to shed your excess baggage (and pounds), slip into something skimpy, and prance around without a care in the world. That’s what I’d do, but I’m a tramp with recurring STDs who hates commitment. I’d dump him and enjoy your (solo) moment in the sun!

Some readers may be more inclined to the Noah’s Ark approach to the summer months: couple up and go on an exotic trip. It’s true that traveling with a companion can be very rewarding, but that’s what your gurlfriends are for. Wouldn’t it be much more exciting to have your own Sisterhood of the Traveling Panties adventure? Meet some hot biscuit in Greece or Rio or Amsterdam? Yes! The answer is YES.

I can just hear someone whining, “But I want to have people over to my house for super cute, couple-y, rose wine-drinking Sunday BBQs and stuff.” Yea, that sounds wonderful, if you’re 80. Cookouts are not for cooking out, they are for making out! Trust me, you want to be single at your next BBQ. Stock up on wieners, charcoal, and condoms! Invite your hot single friends over, and before your meat is medium rare, your sex life will be well done.

The summer season is short – just three months. You have nine other months to shack up with someone and play house. Labor Day will be here before you can shake a stick at a bowl of spilled milk. I’ll bet that when you’re storing away your summer whites, you’ll find your trusted boy toy preserved in plastic under the bed or in the closet or still sitting on the street waiting for you. And if he’s not, hit the end-of-summer clearance sales. I’m sure you can pick up something you like that will last you until next summer.

xoxo
Summer

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