Local: Ticket Giveaway: Morrissey @ The Warner Theatre
This post was written by TNG founder Zack.
In the clearing stands a boxer…How much introduction does Morrissey need in a queer blog? The frontman of The Smiths touched many an angsty, closeted or lovelorn teens life with songs like “There is a Light That Never Goes Out” and “Cemetery Gates” and in his own ongoing (yet less storied) solo career. But like Jodi Foster or Anderson Cooper, Morrissey has left a miniscule amount of doubt as to his queer orientation without straight-up admitting it. So when he plays The Warner Theatre on Saturday, March 14, you can expect many fans of the homo persuasion who have paid full price for his tickets. You, however, don’t have to.
To win a pair of tickets simply answer the below question as both a comment and an email to Zack@Thenewgay.net. Most creative interpretation of the question wins. Please do not enter unless you are able to attend the show:
Which of Morrissey’s song lyrics are actually a coded admission of homosexuality? Is every day like Sunday because Sunday is when Morrissey likes to bang dudes? Is the light that never goes out in the window of a British GLBT Youth Center?
Contest closes on Friday at Noon. Check below the fold for a Morrissey mixtape.
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there are a number of songs that fit this description. i think “there’s a light” does. what else would he want to tell the person in the darkened underpass? but i think the most obvious are “handsome devil,” “dear god please help me,” and “stretch out and wait.” there’s also “hand in glove,” “this charming man,” etc.
i was just reminded that my response was supposed to be funny. do i take morrissey too seriously? back to the drawing board . . .
how about reel around the fountain. you can pin and mount me like a butterfly?
also, girlfriend in a coma is basically a perfect description of my teenage fantasy where my best friend’s (with whom i was sort of in love) girlfriend would just…go away somehow. but i would hate anything to (actually) happen to her.
how about reel around the fountain. you can pin and mount me like a butterfly?
also, girlfriend in a coma is basically a perfect description of my teenage fantasy where my best friend’s (with whom i was sort of in love) girlfriend would just…go away somehow. but i would hate anything to (actually) happen to her.
It’s “The Boy with the Thorn in His Side,” although it reveals a tragic failure of the British sex education system. That’s not where the thorn goes, Morrissey.
All I ask of you,
Is one thing that you never do,
Would you put your arms around me,
(I won’t tell anyone).
Tomorrow,
Does it have to come.
Couldn’t be more clear. I sang this song so many times in high school.
Sadly, I’ll be out of the country for the show.
Though I am one of those “fans of the homo persuasion” who paid full price for these tickets in order to ensure that I got good seats… I will still enter this contest because I feel it my duty as a Smiths/Morrissey fan.
The obvious choice is from “This Charming Man” (Will nature make a man of me yet?) but I’ve always thought that “Sister I’m a Poet” was code for “Sister I’m a Homo”
“With no reason to
Hide these words I feel
And no reason to
Talk about the books I read
But still I do
That’s cuz I’m a —
Sister I’m a —
All over this town”
Just say it Moz, you’re a ‘mo.
OfficeSupplyGeek: I think “Sister I’m A Poet” is one of Morrissey’s best song’s ever. Ever. Glad someone else out there is a fan of that track.
-M
*warning: LONG*
My homo anti-erotic relationship with one Mr. Stephen P. Morrissey began long ago when I was a pre-queer teen clad in baggy, black clothes who listened to the Smiths while waiting for art class or the after school chapter meeting of Amnesty International.
So many revealing lyrics come to mind that I can’t give you just one. Here’s my top 5:
Hairdresser on Fire:
“You are repressed
But you’re remarkably dressed” …”So can you squeeze me”
Ok, so this song is about London’s Sloane St, a real fashion strip, but how many fashion-obsessed straight hair stylists do you know? I’m sure this hairdresser on fire (aka flaming) worked up quite a sexy sweat getting Mr. Morrissey’s famed pompadour to rise.
William It Was Really Nothing :
“… and everybody’s got to live their life
And God knows I’ve got to live mine…
How can you stay with a fat girl who’ll say :
“Oh ! Would you like to marry me ?
“And if you like you can buy the ring”
She doesn’t care about anything
Would you like to marry me ?
And if you like you can buy the ring”
Our poor lovelorn Stephen! He obviously took a long time to realize that straight boy conversions only happen in porn. You can plead and plead to be William’s bride, but trust me dear Morrissey, it doesn’t work. I‘ve been failing at this with Jake Gyllenhaal for years.
Ask :
“So, if there’s something you’d like to try
..ASK ME – I WON’T SAY “NO” – HOW COULD I ?
Spending warm Summer days indoors
Writing frightening verse
To a buck-toothed girl in Luxembourg
…Because if it’s not Love
Then it’s the Bomb…That will bring us together”
I happen to know for .a. fact. that the aforementioned girl in Luxembuorg is trans. I met her working kitchen duty at a womyn’s music festival in a former life. I learned that garbanzo beans are very versatile, as is our man Morrissey. Now he may not be able to pass up the chance to try “something” with someone else or and maybe he feels torn about his past experiences, but I don’t think he ever truly got over the one who would become the buck-toothed bombshell. He reiterates this in Golden Lights by saying “Golden lights displaying your name, Golden lights it’s a terrible shame, But oh my darling, WHY DID YOU CHANGE ?”
These Things Take Time
“You took me behind a dis-used railway line, And said “I know a place where we can go
Where we are not known”
And you gave me something that I won’t forget too soon
But I can’t believe you’d ever care …but a woman divides
And the hills are alive with celibate cries
… you know where you belong
You said I was ill…Oh, the alcoholic afternoons
When we sat in your room”
Still struggling with closet cases, are we? When you agreed on AdamForAdam.com to meet this bloke (whose name you never got) behind the train station, did you really expect he’d fall in love with you? So he gave you something (aka a BJ) that you can’t forget, but a married man on the DL is never going to be swayed by that. Not to mention you shouldn’t subject yourself to the internalized homophobia he spits at you every time you get plastered and end up sneaking back to his place while wifey is at Costco. Calling you “ill” for being gay? How rude!
Rubber Ring :
“When you lay in awe, On the bedroom floor
And said : “Oh, oh, smother me Mother…”
…Rubber ring…The passing of time leaves empty…Waiting to be filled”
Does this one really need an explanation? I always suspected Stevie was a kinky, mf. Asphyxiation, cross dressing, cock rings…damn.
And finally…
Ringleader of the Tormentors, Morrissey’s last solo album, is really great in part because he finally comes out, ends his ages-long dry spell, and I think he took some Wellbutrin too. Case(s) in point are sprinkled throughout. Here’s a medley of sorts:
“There is no such thing as normal” (The Youngest was the Most Loved); “And I am so very tired, of doing the right thing…there are explosive kegs, between my legs…then he motions to me, with his hand on my knee…Now I‘m spreading your legs, with mine in-between…but the heart feels free” (Dear God, Please Help Me); “I entered nothing and nothing entered me, ‘Til you came with the key” (You Have Killed Me) and“I am finally born…Look at me now…I once was a mess of guilt because of the flesh,
It’s remarkable what you can learn, Once you are born, born, born” (At Last I Am Born).
I always thought “Girlfriend in a coma” was closet code for:
“yea, I heard that blokes always with another bloke on the count of his girlfriends in a coma”
Michael! You should play Sister I’m a Poet at Mousetrap tonight! Although I can’t be there, I’m sure other people out there would appreciate it. Also, I’ve always thought that Barbarism Begins at Home is an under-appreciated Smiths gem that is ideal for booty shaking.
And the winner is…Al. For being so very thorough.
Good job, Al! And everyone else, thanks for playing.
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