Sex: I Love Boners
The most glorious thing happened at my gym yesterday. I was in the group showers and happened to glance over at the wall opposite me. Every showerhead was occupied and every occupant, six in all, was sporting wood. One boner in the group shower can be cause for arousal or disgust. But 6? That is a work of art. I felt like a nature photographer, capturing the rare moment that a whole flock of endangered Lebanese teal flamingoes swooped in unison through a of blood-red sunset.
6 men of different ages, races, heights and builds whose penises curved upwards, downwards, leftwards and rightwards. Some were big, some were small. Some of their owners faced outward as if to say “Don’t act like you’re not impressed… and while you’re at it, can I give you a ride home?” Others faced the wall and held their junk up close to their stomach and radiated every possible body-language phrase for “Oh god don’t look at me make this go away I am so embarrassed why does this have to happen to me whenever I expose my skin to hot water?”
In some bizarre way I felt proud to be gay. So many men, with nothing in common other than who they sleep with, could unite at a place as potentially mundane as a locker room and put on a show worthy of Barnum & Bottom’s 3 Ring Circus. There was no touching and only the most tacit of acknowledgment of what was happening by those involved. But everyone in that shower could see the six white (and black, and hispanic) elephants in the room.
For a brief moment the boner — the most basic element of gay sex— became completely stripped of its context for me. I guess I finally paid attention to Wallace Steven’s The Snowman, because I could look at all that flesh and not think of blowjobs or butt sex or the last time I jerked off. Instead it was the rare moment, like reading a book of tasteful erotic photographs, where the human body became not dirty, and not desired, but just the beautiful, complicated machine that it is.
So there you have it. Five things that I love. Is this a feature you all would be interested in seeing more of?
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