I recently came across an article called “Football as Erotic Ritual.” Originally printed in Time magazine in 1978, the article highlights a study by Alan Dundes, an anthropologist at the University of California in Berkeley, who famously asserted that American football is a homosexual ceremony:

…the three-point stance of football players is a form of sexual presentation derived from the animal world. Just as apes raise their bottoms and present their genitals as a sign of submission to stronger males, linemen present their bottoms to their more prestigious teammates in the backfield. “Spiking” the ball after a touchdown, says the anthropologist, “confirms to all assembled that the enemy’s end zone has been penetrated.”

TNG has written about football before, but mainly just to show pics of hot guys. This kind of thing inspires much deeper contemplation, such as why teams ever choose to drop back 10 yards and punt. Go for the first down, boys.