It seems like many of my friends have been having a few soul-searching weeks. I’m not sure what inspired this, but August was a dreary round of discussions on life and relationships. For me, this has mostly consisted of the fact that I’ve recently completed a six-year plan, centered around education, but that incorporated other important things, like work and travel.

My Master’s diploma arrived in the mail this week, a not-so subtle reminder that my six-year plan is complete and that I am currently just floating, directionless. But my attempts to write a new plan that takes me beyond the next year seem futile. I can only say with certainty that I will be living in D.C. through next June, and after that — the world is my oyster?

Unlike other TNG writers, I know that D.C. is not the right city for me. Sure, I have a lot of friends, live in a great house (though my living situation is becoming grating), enjoy the free museums and rapidly improving dining scene, but there’s still something missing. For 10 days in August, I visited Portland, Boston and Western Mass., spent time with all the people I love most, and felt like nothing was missing. Other than, you know, a job.

I think one hurdle that I can’t get over is the fact that I have no connection to anyone who knew me before August 2006. There isn’t a single person who knows me from my first 22 years, while most of my D.C. friends have college or high school friends in the area. Having grown up and gone to college in Massachusetts, the go-to cities are Boston or New York, cities I rejected as post-graduate living options for various reasons.

I was drawn to the idea that I could sort of reinvent myself upon moving to D.C., but I quickly figured out that I liked the person I was and didn’t do that. Now, whenever I have friends or family visit me in D.C., I realize that I need that connection to my past, and hate that I can only have it a few weeks out of the year.

I’ve also been thinking that maybe what I really need is to go live abroad. I loved the period of time I was in Scotland, and something about the European lifestyle suits me better. Though maybe I’m just waxing nostalgic since living in Scotland meant four hours of class a week, (two of which I regularly skipped), and the ability to jet off to a European capital at a moment’s notice and visit friends (often the reason for the skipping).

So where do I go from here? I have at least 10 months left in D.C., which will mark one year in my job and the end of my lease, and unless something major happens — the Washington Post deciding to give me Tom Sietsema‘s job or falling in love, getting a small dog and moving to an apartment in Dupont Circle.

I really do love D.C., but at what point do I move on, throw one hell of a going away party, and try to find somewhere that fits me better?

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