Comments on: Commentary: Where Is Our Anger?

By: Aran

Aran — Sun, 04 Mar 2012 02:31:24 +0000

I used to be so effeminate that look like the movies of the princes when they act so effeminated while they eat with a fork and knife on the table with a meat and veggies and a fine glass and a toast bread with butter. I was so effeminate at this time when I was a young. I corrected myself to avoid problems. I was so effeminate not like other effeminate guys. I was an effeminate like a prince. Because I was extremely effeminate. So, I am not anymore. |I pretend I am not effeminate. Just to avoid any problem. Simple.

By: Aran

Aran — Sun, 04 Mar 2012 02:27:28 +0000

I am sorry for your friend, Todd. I suggest you to behave and pretend you are not gay. It is better to be safe. Why will you regret later?

By: Aran

Aran — Sun, 04 Mar 2012 02:26:29 +0000

Everywhere is fine. It is okay. I do not find something violent outside. The people are tranquil, okay and fine. Now, what anger are you talking about? Since I do not feel comfortable being around people who are not like me. I want a gay community around in my suburban area. I wish. But, it is okay. It is fine. They are cool people. But, I want a gay community where I can have fun with many guys around me such playing, dancing and having parties. I really, really and really miss the parties. I am afraid to go sometimes far away but I try to remain calm. Since the Proposition 8 was lifted up made me fear to go outside. I used to be in gay and lesbian high school was the best school I have ever met. I was comfortable being in this school. I wish I could go gay and lesbian college. I will be comfortable again. Now, you say about gay bars. I do no go to gay bars. I was told by a lesbian friend that the gay bars are not for me. I wanted to go and she got angry with me and stopped talking to me. She disliked me because I wanted to go to gay bars and she only could go and her friends. I felt sad because I wanted to go to gay bars. I do not know why some people do not want me to go gay bars. It is pretty ironic to me. I used to go just once. When I went to gay bars. I liked the clubs dance but no one asked me to dance. I felt left out. Then, I decided to go to the bath to pee. I was looking for a guy for a simple fuck. But, nothing happened. Then, I pee and the guy came and I was starting to arouse. Ah, my gosh, it was like heaven. I could not retain my erection. There was a very sexy guy in the gay bar. I felt so hot. I was burning and vaporizing and felt so melting like ice. I wanted that so bad this cute guy. The guy left and finished pee. I felt my heart was beating so hard and lots of butterflies. I breathed and was relaxed. You know when you feel sex and you find someone attractive, you feel your heart is pumping and you feel your butterflies and you feel a good erection and vaporozing and melting my body. Whew. I felt so good by looking at this desirable guy. This guy left and then I said: Alas, I lost again. Then, the two guys dressed in black came and asked me what are you doing here, you are not supposed to be here. I told him that I was peeing. He said, okay, I will wait here. Then, I finished and my penis could not pee because I cannot pee when a man is there. It makes me nervous. When I am alone, I can pee easier. But, I forced my penis to pee. I finished it. Then, I left while the guy pressured me to hurry up.Then, I thought, Asshole, idiot, and fat and ugly. But, I did not say anything to him. I left and thought again about the sexy guy who is muscular and the big dick he has had on the packet. I wanted to suck his cock immediately but I lost him and he is gone. Alas, I wanted to suck his cock and enjoy. I felt like a crazy queen, that I was ready to serve the guy. But, no one wanted to ask me to give service. Then, I was seeking for fun. But, I liked the club dance. I like how the crazy queers dance and moved their ass and shake their buns. I could not live without their buns. I wanted to dance with them. I remained there while I met two funny and handsome guys who are one of is a deaf and a hard of hearing. Believe me. It was so fun. They attended me. They talked to me. While the guys lost the track but it was a fun communication that lasted for 2 hours. No one asked to dance or to go for a night. I decided to leave and then the rest that I did is move on. I stood away and left and found the bus station. I felt that I will never find a gay guy. I was thinking what is wrong with me? Maybe I look something that they do not like. Maybe I dress not adequately according to the club dance uniform. I used to be so fat and believe me that I was so fat that I caused to people happy and make them feel funny and play with me and tease me and loved me so much. But, I was a happy fat queen gay. I am still happy. I lost weight and I thought let’s see, I will lose weight and if the gay guys do not still like me. Then, it must be something wrong. Probably, my hearing aid is visible. Maybe, they do not like this hearing aid apparatus. Maybe, they are paranoid of this. Then, maybe I am not their type of guy. I am not the golden nickel. I got to give up. But, I am joking.

By: Aran

Aran — Sat, 03 Mar 2012 17:40:13 +0000

Hello, Thai, it is a pleasure meeting you here. Brazil is the most beautiful city in the world. The skins head are not bad. They are normal. They are just like you and me. They are people like you and me and everyone. Something happened between the gays and them. I believe and analyze that gays should behave and respect my white brothers. Okay. That’s it. Gays are not a bad thing. The proverbs is written: Respect that you get respected.

By: Aran

Aran — Sat, 03 Mar 2012 17:37:01 +0000

Hello, good morning Rob, it is pleasure here writing you here. I am glad that this is a good site for us. It is a great site. Rob, a drunkard do not know what they are doing. Of course, he can attack. He does not know what is he doing. He is doped. Ignore him. The best way you can do is not contradict him. Act calm and friendly and nice. Do not contradict. When you contradict, he will not attack you. Be prudent and nice. Comprehend the drunkard. Who knows why the drunkard is like this? Probably he is drunkard because he is gay, maybe he has financial problems, maybe a bad habit, or perhaps he is drunkard because his boyfriend left him for another woman. If you see a drunkard. Please, remain calm and never contradict him and act nice. That’s it. Drunkards will attack you if you offend him by saying, hey, you smell bad, or if you say, poor drunkard with rags clothes, or you stay away or if you contradict him. A drunkard will say things that for example, There is no God. Another example, a drunkard will say, I am gay. He does not know what he says. A white drunkard can say, I am black. Drunkard do not know what he says. I am just giving examples.

By: Arlington vs Alexandria? - Page 6 - City-Data Forum

Arlington vs Alexandria? - Page 6 - City-Data Forum — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 21:44:08 +0000

[...] home invasions. Typical Brooklynite, defending the floppy fold-over pizza…haha. First of all, not all the victims are drunken idiots. The latter was embedded in the first link I posted. (When I open the second link, I get an article [...]

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 12:43:00 +0000

Best thing to do is to get a license to carry a concealed weapon. If you have many attackers with tire irons in the neighborhood, you need more force and protection. I AM NOT GAY BUT STUMBLED ON THIS SITE looking at things regarding Rehoboth Beach. You have a responsibility to protect yourself if law enforcement can not, or will not.

By: miss lee

miss lee — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 06:10:00 +0000

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By: miss lee

miss lee — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 06:10:00 +0000

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 17:30:00 +0000

Wow…how did they know the couple was gay in the first place? This place doesn’t sound like a gay mecca, so maybe a little prudent behavior (not holding hands, “flouncing”, or kissing each other in public might’ve prevented this. People still aren’t comfortable with such behavior, especially in masculine (mostly middle-lower calss non-white) cultures. In fact, upper-class caucasian neighborhoods are safer for such public displays. You can’t control how people will react to seeing you do such things, but you can control your own actions, and avoid doing such things in front of people that might want to hurt you, not becaus e they fear they may be gay (what a crock), but because a lot of people find the idea repugnant, and get angry and disgusted when they see it (a lot of straight guys grew up with their fathers making deprecating remarks about their masculinity/sexuality when they failed to acheive something physical. I recognize that that has shaped my attitude towards homosexuals, and made me rather cold toward them), and avoiding the trouble that may start. if you “can’t repress who you are” as a lot of homosexual men claim…well, you should be ready for more trouble, because flanting your behavior is what’s setting off the problem. Act with prudency. You are not in your bedroom when you are in public.

By: Mr Scruff

Mr Scruff — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 22:30:00 +0000

I have to second this post – “Arm yourselves, queers, and fight back with deadly force.”

By: inked

inked — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 20:23:00 +0000

While this was does appear to be an attack motivated by the fact that the victim was gay, I like to echo some of the comments above that police response may, or may not be related to the victim’s sexual orientation. When I was attacked [prior to the establishment of the Unified Call Center] there were many problems. Among them was that the operator refuse to send the police because I left the scene of the crime [I climbed into a stranger's car and my attacker chased that car for several blocks trying to convince her to kick me out of the car the whole way]. There were also issues with the police report being incomplete [it was recorded as an aggravated assault, but it should have also been recorded in DC as a sex abuse case].
One other unrelated comment. I live in an area where I see many transgender youth. I often see them get on the bus in Chinatown and get off in my area. Occasionally my friends and I have seen some of these kids [some can't be over 14] sitting outside early in the morning on Saturday and Sunday still dressed up from clubbing the night before. We’ve wondered if they might have been put out by older guys they stayed with for the night. To the extent that such youth are being allowed into bars / clubs in DC and going home with older guys, this is something that we, as members of gay community in DC, need to step up and examine. If it is happening at all, we need to take steps to stop it, because it is totally unacceptable. These are kids, and they need to be supported and mentored, not exploited.

By: inked

inked — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 19:29:00 +0000

This is very disturbing. My heart goes out to all of the individuals attacked. I too was once accosted and physically attacked on the street. In my case I was dressed in a suit and on the way to work. It was 7:30 in the morning on a Tuesday. What happened to me was gender based [the perp exposed himself and asked if I liked it], not a gay bashing. It can come out of nowhere. The bruises and swelling take months to heal. My physical injuries were nothing compared to these photos, but it was still terribly hard to look in the mirror everyday and see a face that wasn’t quite my own. I glad to hear that they have made an arrest.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 19:50:00 +0000

Something really struck me – the police comments on “How to avoid this kind of thing” is total victim blaming. Just like in a lot of rape cases “if she hadn’t been taunting him…if she hadn’t been wearing that…if he had stayed near others” it’s just sick. I understand the idea of keeping yourself safe, but it’s not the victim’s fault, especially in cases of hate crimes or sexual violence.

It’s also sad, and leads to the whole stigma of hate crimes and sexual violence that it’s not heavily reported in the media. People in Dupont and AdMo may not think hate crimes occur because they tend to be fairly gay friendly neighborhoods, where instead you just get mugged (not that that’s any better, but). People don’t recognize things like this happen everywhere, in “safe” places for gays, or any old person who could suffer from some sort of a crime. People are told to stay away from places that have high media coverage on violence and places that have high word of mouth speculation on violence. People need to know what’s going on, and police need to send out a message that they will prosecute and they will arrest, and they will not stand for violence against people of any kind. I understand people needing to be aware of their surroundings, but that shouldn’t be the only way to avoid being victimized.

By: J. Matthew

J. Matthew — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 19:52:00 +0000

I am deeply saddened to just be reading about this story. I too was a victim of a hate crime a few years ago in Rehoboth Delaware.
http://www.washblade.com/2004/8-13/news/localnews/gaybash.cfm
I am not sure if one of the comments above was in reference to my attack but I doubt it. I saw little to no support from the town of Rehoboth. The police did not take any accurate reports the night of the event and did not even arrest them men who attacked me who were wielding tire irons and pipes and the gay community all but turned their backs on me offering no support and issuing statements that Rehoboth was a “family town” and this was “an isolated incident”. Isolated incident? The issue was it was a hate crime incident in a town that thrives all gay tourism and any bad publicity need to be $topped because it would be financially unbeneficial.
The men were locals with lengthy records and were let go that night since most grew up with the cops. I was from NJ and only in town for 1 night. I was in Ocean City MD the whole week with my sisters and had no problems there, a primarily straight community. I drive to Rehoboth for 1 night and leave the bar with 2 friends and we get followed to our car, harrassed and when we confront them, we are met with weapons that we are not expecting.
My incident was written off as disorderly conduct between group of drunk men and my lawyer and I had to fight to have the case reopened. Rehoboth did not want this to get public since they knew it would be bad for their gay touri$m. They didn’t want to call it a hate crime, when the only words that came out of the mouth of my attackers were hateful words referencing my sexaulity. The police didn’t even contacted me about the events until a week later and that’s was when they found out that I had broken my jaw in 2 places and lost a tooth. I had my case reopened, only to be met with resistance and few legal options. The men had already pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct and could not be brought up on new charges. I had to give up hopes of a civil case against them since I was not financially able to pursue it and was busy finishing my last year of college. My jaw was wired shut for the first month of classes.
My only advice I can give these victims is to fight and seek all your options and take any support you can. I had little knowledge of my rights and very few resources. I was also attacked in a state that I was not a resident, so that brought up a whole bunch of other legal and logistical problems.
My jaw has healed, my tooth has been replaced and I have learned a valuable lesson in all of this. We can not always be on guard to protect ourselves. I am 6′ 7″ 195 lbs and I was attacked by a 5′ 9″ 150lb man and by attacked I mean I was smacked in the mouth with pipe when I turned around to leave the situation. If anyone should feel safe its a man of my size but the hate these men had didn’t see size or shape. They just saw rage and anger for no reason other than I left a bar with my bf hand and hand.
We can’t live ready to fight but we can be aware or our surrounding and when they unthinkable happens, to not let it get us down and to fight back, legally, verbally and with pride as a community.
I was only finally able to get some justice with one of my attackers after I was contacted by his X wife who was seeking custody of their kids. One of my attackers had been threatening to kill her, her kids and her new husband and I was able to testify against him and help her get full custody of her kids and leave him with no parental rights. It’s sad to think that if maybe legal action had been taken against him with my “isolated incident” that they might have been able to avoid him threatening the life of his wife and children leading to a lengthy child custody battle.
My heart and prayers go out to Todd and I think we all need to realize that a lot of the world has mad huge strides as far as acceptance but we are still below the Mason Dixon and sometimes a few of those extreme attitudes come into our gay dc bubble and we need to be prepared.

By: Megan S.

Megan S. — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 18:29:00 +0000

I posted this following the PDA article, but I think it belongs here too. I don’t have the energy for the whole long saga, but here is the basic story:

Me and my gf hugged for like a second once in Garfield Park in SE and 2 little girls — 11 or 12ish– started giving us the finger and calling us gay while we continued (ahem) tossing the softball. AND THEN we started to walk home– and small rocks began whizzing past our heads. These KIDS were following 2 grown women and throwing rocks at us. We walked right up to the police station and asked for a cop to talk to the kids, who were still right there. They told us to go home and call 311. And then never came. Turned out the kid lived on my street.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 18:13:00 +0000

A friend recently sent me a link to the original posting and I felt like I wanted to write after reading the post and the comments.

First, I want to offer and express my sympathy for the victims of this attack and my hopes that they make a speedy physical and psychological recovery.

Second, I want to join all of those in agreeing that this violence (and any violence for that matter) is simply unacceptable. There is no possible “provocation” to justify this behavior.

Third, I would like to ask that we really try to avoid making this about race for several reasons.

I’m African American. Aside from the horseplay in which kids engage, I’ve only been in a physical conflict once in my life. I was attacked in college by some drunken white guy. This guy was shouting all sorts of racist stuff and the campus police actually had to handcuff him to a bed until he calmed down. Luckily, I fended him off. But there I was this short black guy on a very white college campus. And, this incident happened my first semester freshmen year on the hall on which I lived. To this day, I’ve never told my parents about it. I cannot imagine how they would have felt or reacted.

However, the fact that I was attacked doesn’t mean that all drunken white men are dangerous. Some may be, but all aren’t. This had to do with one individual and if I had labeled every white man a dangerous racist, I wouldn’t have some of the friendships that I have now.

I also have to take some issue with the points about the troublemakers in Adams Morgan only being black ones. I used to hang out in Adams Morgan from time to time, I don’t much anymore because there are so many drunken people and I don’t feel safe. However during one of those times in particular, I remember actually having to restrain one of the straight white guys who worked at my firm when we were hanging out from starting a fight with some other white guy because this other guy tried to get in front of us in the big-slice pizza line. It was just so stupid. And, no one could believe that he did it front of those of us who were much higher than him in the firm food chain. There was no inkling of this sort of violence would come out when interacting with this kid when he was sober. When I think about his conduct, I think it was about youth, alcohol, and testosterone—not race.

To me violence is violence. If this discussion turns into black v. gay, I think two very unfortunate things will happen. One, it’s going to be very hard to get support because DC is still a majority black city. Tactically, I’m not sure it is helpful to alienate such a large part of the population. Two, these discussions tend to place those of us that are black and gay in the position of having to chose. And, if I have to choose between which side I am on, I’m going to pick the black side. The discrimination that I’ve faced in my life, the workplace, and in the gay community has almost always come from white people. If things get down to a zero sum game, I know on which side I’ll have to be.

Let’s not frame the dialogue as us versus them. Let’s make is about us, all of us, taking a stand against violence and ensuring that people can walk the streets of Washington, D.C. safely.

Lastly, the posts suggest that the DC police are inept an unhelpful. Unfortunately, my experience with them confirms rather than denies this. Aside from all of the other good suggestions about civic engagement, what about some sort of private solution? Businesses often hire their own security. Downtown DC has their golden triangle group of people walking around. I think some sort of presence could help deter crime. Is it possible to get some sort of private security presence? With all the money the gay bars and businesses make, I think they’d have some of the resources to help make this happen. Hell, maybe we call Halliburton and ask them to donate security for good publicity. While I just don’t want to rely on police, I also don’t want to see vigilantism.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 17:12:00 +0000

Thank you Chris for sharing this. A few things. I don’t know how much they can do (and I’m sure they’ve already been contacted) but there is a DC Office of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Affairs – http://www.lgbt.dc.gov. You can write to them at lgbt@dc.gov. I have, and maybe it could help if others do the same?

I am a lifelong ally, family member, and friend of the community that finds what happened and our city’s response to be nauseating and unacceptable. I would be happy to help in any way I can. I hope the council members and resources that have been posted can step in, and more importantly step UP. It’s about time, before we’re having this conversation at somebody’s funeral next time.

Best wishes to Todd and his/your other friends who survived this horrifying attack. I’m by your side and with you in the fight, today and always!

By: ksu499

ksu499 — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 18:33:00 +0000

Reading the descriptions of the responses of MPD makes me think of the famous quote by Marion Barry, “DC has a really low crime rate, if you don’t count the murders”. I guess that logic can also hold true for Adams-Morgan and gay-bashing. Rule #1: Don’t make the city look bad.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 15:22:00 +0000

This is how DC police operates. They blame the victim, usually for the crime of daring to be in a public space, take the report and then do nothing.

They do this no matter the crime or the victim. It is very equitable.

Gay bashing is a serious crime and a hate crime, but so is your run of the mill murder that the DC police routinely fail to do anything about. They are incompetent.

Don't make this a gay issue, make this a resident of DC issue because no matter our sexual orientation, race or gender, we are all sick of living in fear.

By: PeteinDC

PeteinDC — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 04:52:00 +0000

I and a few others will be having the first meeting of a GLBT anti-violence working group Monday evening at the DC Center. You can see my blog for a few more details.

I hope this working group will both help Zack with his idea for an event, and continue a much more long-term effort to stem the tide of violence in the community. We also hope to increase education on homophobia and the issues of hate crimes.

By: Jordan

Jordan — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 02:35:00 +0000

I agree completely with Fight back!

Fight back! said…

I agree that it is sometimes necessary to go to the police in situations like this given the current realities, but I think that our long-term strategy in the queer community should be to oppose the prison industrial complex. We should be searching for community-based strategies to resist anti-queer violence that do not strengthen a broader criminal justice system which is hostile to queers and poor folks, people of color, etc.

We should also explore organizing strategies that empower our community collectively. Support services are essential, but I think that we should also be developing strategies that are not solely focused on individualizing this problem — like focusing only on promoting social service agencies and carrying weapons on an individual level. We need community empowerment that is lead by and for queer folks.

For more on this line of thinking, please visit http://www.CriticalResistance.org, http://www.incite-national.org, http://prisonactivist.org/?q=taxonomy_menu/9/59/90, http://www.transformingjustice.org

By: Zack

Zack — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 18:38:00 +0000

Regarding the above comment: I am in the beginning stages of planning such a rally, though it would most likely be next weekend. Anyone interested in organizing may email stophate@thenewgay.net

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 18:32:00 +0000

Anyone want to organize a Rally/Walk to demonstrate our fearlessness and inability to take this kind of bigotry and hatred any longer? Adams Morgan this Saturday walk down 18th Street at midnight?

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 15:39:00 +0000

I actually spoke to the police about this issue several weeks ago. Their response, in an email, was that they didn't believe that hate crime "numbers were up," but that they'd check into it. When asked why gays (and more particularly gay men) are the targets of the vast majority of hate crimes in the District, they responded that they didn't think things were worse here than elsewhere, but that we have better reporting.

So, those of us concerned about this shouldn't expect much from the police without some significant pushback from our side. And, since race and class has been raised, a group of friends and I were verbally harassed several weeks ago by a car full of black guys driving in from Maryland. They were in a Lincoln Navigator, which I am pretty sure cost a bit more than either the 2001 Oldsmobile Allero I drove at the time or the Ford Escape I just bought.

I love all of the reverse assumptions about race and class that gays make to excuse this kind bullshit.