This post was submitted by Allison, who really should submit posts more often.

Gays marriage. Gay marriage. Gay marriage. If I hear this phrase one more time I may puke on my Birkenstocks. Not because the issue is irrelevant, but because of the ongoing, positive, forthcoming arguments of basic human rights juxtaposed to circular conservative rebuttals that only slow things down. Scientists, sociologists and DuPont Circle, have been forced to challenge these prejudices by dissecting same-sex relationships, showing that gay marriage does not equal detriment of greater society, but introduces a new (and belated) beginning to how people can relate to one another.

Today’s NY Times article “Gay Unions Shed Light on Gender in Marriage,” begins to focus on the importance of learning from the gay community. Yes, it’s back to the Sesame Street Ideals of our childhood (The word of the day is: GAY!). Research has shown that committed same sex couples have an “egalitarian” approach to their relationships. This openness does not translate into chaos or lack of structure as the stereotype suggests, but creates better communication, better understanding and a more satisfying relationship.

In deconstructing same sex relationships, the article also points out that the biology does not determine human behavior. While straight married couples have shown to have more aggressive patterns of arguing and communicating (citing “gender roles” as a root of their differences) some same sex couples have shown similar patterns. What differs is how gay couples deal with their problems. Instead of falling back on ideals of male and female roles, gay couples are able to clarify grievances more accurately and thus create productive solutions.

As I get older, I see how important it is to legalize same-sex marriage. It is not truly accepted and legitimized until our nation’s policies change to accommodate queer relationships. Of course committed gay relationships will exist regardless of whether they are recognized by law. But as we see in recent articles and publications, gay relationships do not only challenge ideas of marriage, but ideas of communication, gender and open possibilities of better families, better relationships, and better lives!

Alright. Back to work.

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