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Pretzel Logic for Assholes

7 May 2008, 6:30 pm No Comments

So I got into my first ever bike accident this morning on the way to work. I’ve lived in cities my whole life but I think this is the most truly urban I’ve ever felt. It’s nice, in a way. I was going south on 13th St., between K and L, when some fucker turning left from the northbound lane jutted out in front of me and I couldn’t stop in time. I flipped off my bike and dinged up my hip (above) and my knee (below the fold.) I managed to take off a part of his grill too. I’m pretty happy about that. I know this is pretty mild as car/bike interactions go, but now my knee really hurts and this is the best way to vent.

Oh, and want to hear the best part? Instead of saying he was sorry, this accountant-looking asshole (in what I believe was a silver Passat or Jetta) simply told me that I had to be really careful biking around in cities. Excuse me? He’s justifying his inattentive driving by saying that I should have a better radar for inattentive drivers? I know that if I had been in a car he would have been looking for me.

At least I got the satisfaction of screaming “What the fuck is your problem?” at him while sprawled out on the pavement. I can’t imagine that anyone else watching would sympathize with him over me.

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  • Anonymous said:

    Are you sure that you weren’t just looking for an excuse to show off your rockin abs?

    7 May 2008 at 6:33 pm
  • Anonymous said:

    ^^
    My first thought too.

    Sorry for your troubles, Zack.

    7 May 2008 at 6:37 pm
  • Anonymous said:

    Did you get his license plate number?

    This has lawsuit written all over it…go for the gold!

    7 May 2008 at 6:55 pm
  • Allison said:

    Ouch Zack! Hope you are OK. I got hit last year around this time in Mt. Pleasant (was pushed off my route and off my bike by a car that didn’t check his blind spot before pulling head first into a parallel parking spot.)

    I hope you had a cop come take a report. I didn’t, and when I reported the accident to the guy’s insurance company and submitted a claim for a new bike helmet, they rejected it, saying they felt I was the cause of the accident. Without an official report to back me up, I was SOL.

    But more than anything, hope you are OK! Drivers just don’t think about us bikers (until we end up on the hoods of their cars)…

    7 May 2008 at 7:57 pm
  • coach said:

    what a fucking douche. i don’t know how you restrained yourself. bike locks make handy weapons. good for you for taking off a piece of his car.

    7 May 2008 at 8:06 pm
  • Anonymous said:

    oh the irony:

    http://dcist.com/2008/05/07/dc_named_most_i.php

    7 May 2008 at 11:02 pm
  • Timp said:

    Welcome. You are not a true biker, until you have been bloodied.

    I to am and avid biker, and had my first wipe out last year, not caused by a driver mind you. In fact, I had two wipe outs within weeks of each other.

    And both of them I hit the ground in the same way, the same spots, and got road rash in the same spots.

    I also probably got some hairline fractures in my hip, cause it took 3 months to feel fully right again.

    8 May 2008 at 12:36 am
  • Timp said:

    Question, are those Chrome Kickers that you are wearing, Zack?

    8 May 2008 at 12:59 am
  • Timp said:

    Question, are those Chrome Kickers that you are wearing, Zack?

    8 May 2008 at 12:59 am
  • A.J. said:

    I photoshopped it all better for you. Good as new.

    8 May 2008 at 3:58 am
  • onestepahead said:

    I’m sensing the offender had VA plates. Miss Clio told me.

    8 May 2008 at 4:05 am
  • Zack said:

    Aww, AJ, thats really nice of you. Thank you.

    8 May 2008 at 1:31 pm
  • Luke- Jigsaw Master said:

    Don’t forget Bike to Work Day next Friday.

    http://www.waba.org/events/btwd/index.php

    8 May 2008 at 2:25 pm
  • Anonymous said:

    Thanks AJ. Much tastier now.

    8 May 2008 at 2:29 pm
  • Ms. Cavanaugh said:

    What I love most about this is that my picture is in the background.

    9 May 2008 at 12:39 am
  • stephanie said:

    zack, your picture makes a case for bringing back kneepads.

    today, i got my own bikale wounds when i misjudged the distance between me the curbside car and a lexus. i decided to let my knuckles take one for the lexus and my wallet.

    10 May 2008 at 9:20 pm

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