This post was submitted by Meaghan, who loves the Phase and karaoke.

I wrote a post a few weeks back about Phase 1 Lounge and why I love it with most every fiber of my being. There were supportive replies and, as per usual, some replies from [gay] men about their distaste for a bar that won’t let them in the door “without a vagina”. I find that whenever I express my love for the Phase in a crowd of DC queers, I’m met with the same questions and snarls. Michael, who has been great about offering suggestions and opinions about everything I’ve submitted to TNG, posed a similar question/argument this morning. It inspired me to go into a more lengthy explanation of the notorious Phase policy, and hopefully shed some light or open up some conversation about its history and place in the new gay DC.

“All Males must have a Female Escort”

The policy at Phase 1 is hotly contested, discussed, and argued but it’s also historical. Phase has been open for 38 years and the policy was established to protect the patrons. The policy was similar to that which was created (the bars have the same owners, Allen Carroll and Chris Jenson) for Ziegfield’s/Secrets. In fact, I was informed that the Ziegfield’s/Secrets policy was more restrictive. Both bars were situated in a part of the city that was notoriously unsafe, and they were erected at times in history when there was no safe place for queer people.

The policy at Phase has lingered not only because of the owner who enforces it regularly but because of the clientele. Phase-goers expect a space that is tipped in favor of their sexual preference, and that is often not the case in many establishments (even ladies nights) across the city. Additionally, when the deck in stacked in favor of men…across the board, internationally…there is little to no reason why women shouldn’t be able to make exclusive space, or space that is highly restricted in their favor. The policy is not “no men allowed” or “men pay more” or “men will be heckled relentlessly if they dare to come in”. The policy is “if you look like an asshole, or a Marine from down the street, or insist that it is your God-given right to come into a lesbian bar, or screech about how it’s discrimination” you probably won’t get in. But if you stand at the door, with your female escort, and you are respectful, courteous and consistently aware that your presence is a privilege and not a right, then you’ll get in. And this is pretty much exclusive to Friday and Saturday nights, when there are tons of people. If you come in on a Thursday or Sunday, you probably won’t have to face the policy.

There is a lot of frustration on both ends about this policy, and there are constant discussions about the policy and how it affects the livelihood of the bar. But one must understand that the imbalance of sexism and heterosexism still exists and creating exclusive/restrictive space is a way in which marginalized people can feel safe when the “mean streets” continue to do little to nothing to protect them. Speaking as a self-identified queer dyke with a gay brother who frequented DC establishments before he moved to NYC, I will say that men in this city are notoriously disrespectful to lesbians/dykes and even transfolk. Back when Wet existed, women who walked into the bar were hissed and lunged at for invading “men space”. Gay men still take it upon themselves to invade MY personal space when I’m out in “neutral” bars or even at private parties. While I realize that my experience is very limited, get a group of lesbians together who have frequented places in DC and you will hear a resounding cry of ENOUGH. We’re sick of being judged, fondled, oogled, and disrespected. So instead of challenging the policy at Phase, I would think it would be more important to ask DC’s gay men and their chromosomally-similar friends and neighbors to start acting like they deserve the privilege.

I realize that TNG is doing its part to change the face of gayness in DC, but I do feel it’s responsible and reasonable to consider what has been. Being a cisgendered man comes with a significant amount of privilege, even if you’re gay. And with privilege comes the responsibility to deconstruct what has been, including behaviors attributed to your community but not specifically to you, in order to repair it and create fantastic newness. There is not a point at which someone, especially men when it relates to women-space, decides things have changed and everyone must play along. Lesbians are still tender, still sore, still hurting from the crap we’ve been through over the years, so complaining about our safe space and how it makes you feel does little to nothing to inspire us to move on and move through.

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