Drag king E-Cleff supplies advice to TNG readers. Got a question? Send it to him.
Yes, spring is upon us. The weather is hot and girls are dressing less…wait I’ve heard that somewhere before. Anyway, I have come up with the ultimate top five list for you gay Washingtonians to prepare for the Spring with the help of some of your favorite tunes. Enjoy!


1. Beat It
That’s right ladies and gents…just beat it at least twice a week. Don’t listen to what your mother use to tell you, masturbation is healthy people!! This especially applies if you aren’t getting any from someone else. I equate a good orgasm to happy people. Come on folks, no one wants to hang out with grumpy people. So just BEAT IT!!

2. Baby Got Back
A wise man once said “…you can do side bends or sit-ups but please don’t lose that butt.” Asses are in ladies and gentlman! Ladies, please stop saying “Oh my gosh, I have such a big ass.” Stop thinking this is a bad thing. You have been blessed with one of God’s greatest creations and there are plenty of people who will agree. I’m all about the squats, lunges, and donkey kicks. There is nothing better than a lady who is in shape and still maintains that phat ass. Let’s not lose sight of the important things. I can’t speak from a gay man’s perspective but I can only assume why gay men would appreciate a nice butt too. (Gay men…feel free to comment).

3. Bring Sexyback
My fellow gays, we continue to be the most talented and creative people mankind has ever seen. So why just wait for pride to show everyone your creative style? I live for walking around Dupont and catching the latest gay boy trends. My fierce gay boys, where are you? I am putting an official call out to my fellow gays and lesbians to start busting out your latest outfit creations or that new outfit from Armani Exchange that you just can’t wait to wear. It’s time to bring Sexyback people! I’ll be looking for you.

4. Vogue
No matter where you are someone is always watching you, especially now that the weather is getting nice. When you step outside you must try to always look your best. If you know you look good it is a must that you try to strike a pose at least once a week. Yes, you read correctly…strike a pose. We have all done it before, whether it’s squinting your eyes like the infamous Tyra pose or pursing your lips like Zoolander. People are watching and it’s nothing wrong with looking fierce in the process.

5. Respect
Living in the DMV Area it’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the daily grind. Sometimes we tend to forget about the people around us. As we get into spring take the time out to show a little respect to your fellow humans around you. I know it sounds silly, but DC did just get voted as one of the most unfriendly states in the nation. Believe it or not, giving up a seat for an elderly person on the metro, holding the door for someone, or just saying thank you can really go a long way. Practice this at work, at home, in public, or at the bars & clubs.