Comments on: Uncategorized: The New Lesbian http://thenewgay.net/2008/04/new-lesbian.html For Everyone Over the Rainbow Wed, 08 Feb 2012 01:03:20 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.3 By: SZM http://thenewgay.net/2008/04/new-lesbian.html#comment-1567 SZM Wed, 09 Apr 2008 03:41:00 +0000 http://tngmichael.wordpress.com/2008/04/04/the-new-lesbian/#comment-1567 femme-phobia sounds like a sad, sad life. bi-phobia too! femme-phobia sounds like a sad, sad life. bi-phobia too!

]]> By: coach http://thenewgay.net/2008/04/new-lesbian.html#comment-1566 coach Tue, 08 Apr 2008 18:31:00 +0000 http://tngmichael.wordpress.com/2008/04/04/the-new-lesbian/#comment-1566 not to be a total bipartisan douche, but i think the knife cuts both ways. <br/>while i'm not going to waste my time trying to prove that queer can be pretty, and i think the idea of setting a personal definition of queerness as the new def of dykes is bunk--<br/>there are also those who are completely invisible in the queer community because their looks or bisexuality passes them as straight. i'm def not denying that we need to talk about straight privilege in these situations, but i also know that my personal bi-phobia or femme-phobia steers me away from certain members of the queer community, and that's, uh, not particularly community-minded of me. not to be a total bipartisan douche, but i think the knife cuts both ways.
while i’m not going to waste my time trying to prove that queer can be pretty, and i think the idea of setting a personal definition of queerness as the new def of dykes is bunk–
there are also those who are completely invisible in the queer community because their looks or bisexuality passes them as straight. i’m def not denying that we need to talk about straight privilege in these situations, but i also know that my personal bi-phobia or femme-phobia steers me away from certain members of the queer community, and that’s, uh, not particularly community-minded of me.

]]> By: SZM http://thenewgay.net/2008/04/new-lesbian.html#comment-1565 SZM Tue, 08 Apr 2008 16:48:00 +0000 http://tngmichael.wordpress.com/2008/04/04/the-new-lesbian/#comment-1565 yeah, i hate it when people think i'm straight!<br/><br/>seriously though, two things. i think that this issue has less to do with what the "stereotypical lesbian" looks like, and more to do with the oh-so-problemmatic male gaze. in other words, on the opposite end of the spectrum from gay men assuming hegemonically feminine women are straight are the people who are confused when i show up in the locker room, at straight bars or the ladies room. why? because the male gaze defines what women are <i>supposed</i> to look like, and i do not fit that. it seems you don't fit into the gay male gaze. it's a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation. <br/><br/>secondly, i've thought about this post for a long time, and i think what has been haunting me about it is the privilege that is associated with passing as straight in a world that happens to be firmly entrenched in heteronormativity. what i appreciate about this blog is that it challenges the assumptions about the gay community based on our music tastes or where we go out; however, i think that future posts that call into question the "stereotypical" members of our community ought to make an attempt to strike a delicate balance between challenging those stereotypes while not belittling members of our community who happen to live on cat farms in virginia or love nights at cobalt. when the chips are down, westboro baptist is sending us all to hell no matter what our music preference is! yeah, i hate it when people think i’m straight!

seriously though, two things. i think that this issue has less to do with what the “stereotypical lesbian” looks like, and more to do with the oh-so-problemmatic male gaze. in other words, on the opposite end of the spectrum from gay men assuming hegemonically feminine women are straight are the people who are confused when i show up in the locker room, at straight bars or the ladies room. why? because the male gaze defines what women are supposed to look like, and i do not fit that. it seems you don’t fit into the gay male gaze. it’s a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation.

secondly, i’ve thought about this post for a long time, and i think what has been haunting me about it is the privilege that is associated with passing as straight in a world that happens to be firmly entrenched in heteronormativity. what i appreciate about this blog is that it challenges the assumptions about the gay community based on our music tastes or where we go out; however, i think that future posts that call into question the “stereotypical” members of our community ought to make an attempt to strike a delicate balance between challenging those stereotypes while not belittling members of our community who happen to live on cat farms in virginia or love nights at cobalt. when the chips are down, westboro baptist is sending us all to hell no matter what our music preference is!

]]> By: jessica http://thenewgay.net/2008/04/new-lesbian.html#comment-1564 jessica Sat, 05 Apr 2008 14:48:00 +0000 http://tngmichael.wordpress.com/2008/04/04/the-new-lesbian/#comment-1564 totally agree with michael on that ASSumption on perception. i don't work at a gay-oriented job, and most people think i'm straight until i tell them. although i do work in a very open and diverse environment, my colleagues still have their moments of hetero- and homo- generalizations. <br/><br/>because i work in a corp/business-like environment, i keep my "outness" in check, which is a common approach among others i know. at some point, if i value the relationship enough-- or if he/she (usually a she) just won't shut-up about asking me about my personal life (which, by the way, isn't a professional thing to do gay or straight), then i will enlighten. it is almost always certain that at that moment, i have altered a perception in some way, usually for the better.. i hope... totally agree with michael on that ASSumption on perception. i don’t work at a gay-oriented job, and most people think i’m straight until i tell them. although i do work in a very open and diverse environment, my colleagues still have their moments of hetero- and homo- generalizations.

because i work in a corp/business-like environment, i keep my “outness” in check, which is a common approach among others i know. at some point, if i value the relationship enough– or if he/she (usually a she) just won’t shut-up about asking me about my personal life (which, by the way, isn’t a professional thing to do gay or straight), then i will enlighten. it is almost always certain that at that moment, i have altered a perception in some way, usually for the better.. i hope…

]]> By: kr http://thenewgay.net/2008/04/new-lesbian.html#comment-1563 kr Fri, 04 Apr 2008 19:45:00 +0000 http://tngmichael.wordpress.com/2008/04/04/the-new-lesbian/#comment-1563 maybe just maybeone lesbo equivalent to fancy jeans is busting out into the crowd with another hot woman in tow. shock them all silly. maybe just maybeone lesbo equivalent to fancy jeans is busting out into the crowd with another hot woman in tow. shock them all silly.

]]> By: kr http://thenewgay.net/2008/04/new-lesbian.html#comment-1562 kr Fri, 04 Apr 2008 19:42:00 +0000 http://tngmichael.wordpress.com/2008/04/04/the-new-lesbian/#comment-1562 Dear Ms. New Lesbian,<br/>Fantastic response to severely misguided intended compliment to the party peoples. <br/>K Dear Ms. New Lesbian,
Fantastic response to severely misguided intended compliment to the party peoples.
K

]]> By: Michael http://thenewgay.net/2008/04/new-lesbian.html#comment-1561 Michael Fri, 04 Apr 2008 19:34:00 +0000 http://tngmichael.wordpress.com/2008/04/04/the-new-lesbian/#comment-1561 Amen, Amy. Why is it that when a hot guy walks into a mixed crowd, it's assumed he's gay. But when a hot femme woman walks into a crowd, it's assumed she's straight. Is there a lesbian equivalent to <a HREF="http://www.thenewgay.net/2008/03/fancy-jeans-people-stop-it.html?showComment=1207337040000" REL="nofollow">fancy jeans</a> that you can wear to identify yourself as a homo when needed? Amen, Amy. Why is it that when a hot guy walks into a mixed crowd, it’s assumed he’s gay. But when a hot femme woman walks into a crowd, it’s assumed she’s straight. Is there a lesbian equivalent to fancy jeans that you can wear to identify yourself as a homo when needed?

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