I think we all need to kind of fess-up and say that, for the most part, whether we are at work or at play, we want our clothes to say something about us.

That’s why there’s J. Crew, Gap, Urban Outfitters, Threadless, thrift, American Apparel, H&M, Up Against the Wall, Zara, the Leather Rack etc. etc. They all sell clothes that say something different about the person wearing them, whether it be, “I’m preppy and I like sailboats,” or “I’m hip-hop and I like Jay-Z,” or “I’m a scuppie and I’m into sustainable clothing.” Or whatever. We dress to represent ourselves to the world.

And perception is a huge thing! I’ve debated bringing in political commentary, but I’m going to leave the argument where it began.

I *can not*. CAN NOT. wear whatever shirt I find that fits me. If it’s got too much pink or too many flowers, or frills or lace or puffy sleeves–I can not wear it.

And why not? It’s not me. It makes me feel like I’m in drag, like I’m impersonating something or someone that that I’m just not, and can’t be. It’s too girly. It will attract looks from the wrong people–guys. Do I want to be a guy? No. But I don’t want them hitting on me either.

And that does make it uncomfortable, even if the actual clothing isn’t, per say. Showing a feminine necklike or more arm or more leg than I want to just because that’s what the Gap tells me I should do this season makes me feel like I’m giving away too much.

In the end, it’s hard for me to get a handle on my argument. I hate wearing girlie clothing, because I think it defines me, and I don’t like that definition. I don’t want people to get the wrong idea about me: I’m gay, I like women, I don’t like men, and I don’t want to be bothered with.

@ the other Allison–if you know a good place to buy non-frilly, non-puffy shirts, I’m all for a shopping spree!

it is important to me that i make a loud and clear statement that says: this snatch is valuable and you gonna have to work hard to get to it.

i am strong-woman, hear me roar/unzip my pants.

My favorite lezzie co-worker is wearing a Canadian tuxedo with Ked-sneakers on casual Friday.

Guys that wear womens clothing tend to fall into one of two categories, transvestites, or drag queens/female impersonators.

Drag queens to me, are interested in portraying women, but often in a male sort of way. While tranvestites want to pass as real women. Pretend women vs real women. I’m grossly simplifying, and only because of the nature of this.

I seldom see men that dress in a feminine manner, or androgynous way. But still be male, they don’t consider themselves transvestites.

I belong to a group of gamers, and there are 3 lesbians in it, who all dress like tomboys, and talk about how they like to dress like young boys. And some of the local bands I see have a large following of young lesbians, who also dress like tomboys.

The number of lesbians that feel more comfortable in men style clothing, seems higher then men wanting to be more female in their appearance, while still retaining their sex.

The women in my gaming group do not like to be confused for a boy, even though they like to dress like boys. Which is understandable, some of them are clearly female, no matter what they wear.

So, what is the appeal to women in mens clothing? Is it more comfortable, or is it much of womens cloths are uncomfortable?

Is womens cloths not strong enough in it’s style to suit your strong personality?

How important is it to you that your cloths say something about you?

The reason I think it’s relevant is because I think that bi women who date men feel a little pressure to dress differently. One of the things I was asked when I started dating my boyfriend was whether I was going to grow my hair out. I decided to continue to dress the same way, but I know other women who made a different choice (which is totally their call). So, I disclosed my identity in my comment so that I could note that, contrary to what someone might think, bi women also have issues finding clothing that expresses our style/sexuality/chosen spots on the gender identity continuum.

I’m also curious about you. Why do you find it so jarring?

let’s go shopping for non puffy sleeved shirts together.

let’s go shopping for non puffy sleeved shirts together.

Anyway, I just thought I’d express some busty solidarity! Keep hope alive!

I also applaud your idea of a queer womens clothing store. When Threadless tshirts started up, I was all, YES! These are the kinds of images in tshirts I would wear! Fun images without any agenda, so to speak. What I’ve wanted for years!

And then I thought…why didn’t I think of doing my own tshirts and starting my own company? Now it would just be a copy of a successful business.

Before I left work, I went around and looked at what all the women wear. My office is 80% women, and I work for one of the top ten companies best for women to work at.

Not a single puffy sleeve, or frill. I know of 3 women that ever wear a dress or skirt. One was a lesbian, and she wore these vintage 50′s dresses, and looked great!

The other two, straight. One wears modern dress, and is in her 30′s, the other in her 60′s wears what most would consider business dress.

No one looked like Paula Poundstone. Most of them wear tops and slacks, nice shoes, a few dress on the hipper side.

One thing I’ve also noticed, colors and fabrics for both sexes is becoming the norm.

But then again, I’m thinking most of these women are straight, and don’t worry about what their cloths project about them, because they aren’t thinking about that.

In all seriousness though, beginning at a real early age, I chose jobs based on dress code. And to this day, I choose jobs based on dress code. I’m a graphic designer, so at the place where I work, jeans, t-shirts, flip-flops, hats, spiky hair, etc. are par for the course. Even tattoos don’t matter to them.

But, I’m lucky with that. Going out or going to fancy gathering can be hard though. I forever search thrift, Gap, Marshall’s, etc. etc. and all I ever seem to find are awesome plaid shirts that end up having puffy sleeves.

There should be a queer-women’s clothing company. They would make a lot of money. Tailored to fit a woman’s curves, but styled to match a man’s. Or andro. Or whatever.

Just, anything but the puffy sleeves. And the pastel colors. Oh, the pastel colors. Even Gap abandoned basic Black this spring. WTF?

Y–try holding the gap closed with a safety pin on the inside (just stick it through the back layer of the top button band).

Fantastic post!