Then it became about being part of a community within it’s self.

Now it’s about being mainstream.

Which is what most gays 10, 20, 30, heck even back when in the 60’s and 70s said they wanted.

The ability to be just like straight people in terms of rights and equality and all that.

And now we are getting it. And what some have come to realize is that having gotten it, is it worth it? If it means giving up that special feeling of belonging to a community that was hidden, and safe, and above all, extra fun?

Did gays really think that once we got what we wanted, the party wouldn’t be over?

There are, though, still some issues to be worked through, and I think some of them are more subtle than perhaps they were in the past. For a long time, being gay was about being outside mainstream society, and now that we are more (but not entirely) accepted, where and how do we fit in? I think the answer will differ according to the individual.

I’m providing my perspective. You wouldn’t have an article like this 10 years ago, and 20 years ago, any article you would have had would have been about how a lonely life gays lead, with sex in back alleys, or lots of sex partners, with no chance of a having a healthy relationship.

Some fun, growing up being told your life will basically be nothing more then misery, because your gay.

So now it’s articles about younger gays coming out earlier and wanting to have relationships and all that comes with those, including marriage, and your all still complaining?

Ok fine, nothings good enough it seems.

And Adam, since you feel the need to seperate people in to age catagories, like the Olds, it shows what kind of attitude you have. You started out using that kind of language, and you continue to use it.

What does that say about you? Oh yeah, you date an old. Whatever.

i’ve been sleeping with an old for almost four years and have been living with same old for two of them. while he doesn’t give me any post-boomer “we invented sex” gay martyr b.s, he does feel the need to “educate” me on something every few days or so (in 1624, oliver cromwell…blah blah blah) . TIRESOME! i roll my eyes and make jokes at his expense, but we both know that the “education” is a big part of the reason i like hanging with the olds (this one particularly). which isn’t to say i haven’t taught him a thing or two.

i’ve been sleeping with an old for almost four years and have been living with same old for two of them. while he doesn’t give me any post-boomer “we invented sex” gay martyr b.s, he does feel the need to “educate” me on something every few days or so (in 1624, oliver cromwell…blah blah blah) . TIRESOME! i roll my eyes and make jokes at his expense, but we both know that the “education” is a big part of the reason i like hanging with the olds (this one particularly). which isn’t to say i haven’t taught him a thing or two.

i’ve been sleeping with an old for almost four years and have been living with same old for two of them. while he doesn’t give me any post-boomer “we invented sex” gay martyr b.s, he does feel the need to “educate” me on something every few days or so (in 1624, oliver cromwell…blah blah blah) . TIRESOME! i roll my eyes and make jokes at his expense, but we both know that the “education” is a big part of the reason i like hanging with the olds (this one particularly). which isn’t to say i haven’t taught him a thing or two.

i’ve been sleeping with an old for almost four years and have been living with same old for two of them. while he doesn’t give me any post-boomer “we invented sex” gay martyr b.s, he does feel the need to “educate” me on something every few days or so (in 1624, oliver cromwell…blah blah blah) . TIRESOME! i roll my eyes and make jokes at his expense, but we both know that the “education” is a big part of the reason i like hanging with the olds (this one particularly). which isn’t to say i haven’t taught him a thing or two.

i’ve been sleeping with an old for almost four years and have been living with same old for two of them. while he doesn’t give me any post-boomer “we invented sex” gay martyr b.s, he does feel the need to “educate” me on something every few days or so (in 1624, oliver cromwell…blah blah blah) . TIRESOME! i roll my eyes and make jokes at his expense, but we both know that the “education” is a big part of the reason i like hanging with the olds (this one particularly). which isn’t to say i haven’t taught him a thing or two.

i’ve been sleeping with an old for almost four years and have been living with same old for two of them. while he doesn’t give me any post-boomer “we invented sex” gay martyr b.s, he does feel the need to “educate” me on something every few days or so (in 1624, oliver cromwell…blah blah blah) . TIRESOME! i roll my eyes and make jokes at his expense, but we both know that the “education” is a big part of the reason i like hanging with the olds (this one particularly). which isn’t to say i haven’t taught him a thing or two.

i’ve been sleeping with an old for almost four years and have been living with same old for two of them. while he doesn’t give me any post-boomer “we invented sex” gay martyr b.s, he does feel the need to “educate” me on something every few days or so (in 1624, oliver cromwell…blah blah blah) . TIRESOME! i roll my eyes and make jokes at his expense, but we both know that the “education” is a big part of the reason i like hanging with the olds (this one particularly). which isn’t to say i haven’t taught him a thing or two.

i’ve been sleeping with an old for almost four years and have been living with same old for two of them. while he doesn’t give me any post-boomer “we invented sex” gay martyr b.s, he does feel the need to “educate” me on something every few days or so (in 1624, oliver cromwell…blah blah blah) . TIRESOME! i roll my eyes and make jokes at his expense, but we both know that the “education” is a big part of the reason i like hanging with the olds (this one particularly). which isn’t to say i haven’t taught him a thing or two.

i’ve been sleeping with an old for almost four years and have been living with same old for two of them. while he doesn’t give me any post-boomer “we invented sex” gay martyr b.s, he does feel the need to “educate” me on something every few days or so (in 1624, oliver cromwell…blah blah blah) . TIRESOME! i roll my eyes and make jokes at his expense, but we both know that the “education” is a big part of the reason i like hanging with the olds (this one particularly). which isn’t to say i haven’t taught him a thing or two.

And to show you have the wrong end of the stick, it’s not a lack of historical perspective I was talking about at all.

It’s a lack of personal experience. World of difference, and if you can’t see that, then you lack the ability to see outside of your own personal self, and cut yourself off from a wider learning experience.

Because I’m happy to see articles like this, I’m happy that gays can come out younger, and be accepted, and that more and more straight people want gays to have the same rights as they do, and that people want everyones relationship validated.

And I’m happy that YOU didn’t have to grow up with the idea that being gay is a case of hiding who you are at all times, and that you can look forward to a life of fear, and deception.

I’m glad that all the years I spent volunteering at the Gay Community Center helped people, and that manning the phone lines for hours and the Gay Youth Groups, and and such I ran helped people.

I’m glad at 20, I let my real name and photo be used in an article about gay youth, over 20 years ago, when it wasn’t safe to do so.

I’m glad I did all this, and I’m glad that the way I lived my life inspired others to be more confident in who they are, and others who did the same made it possible for the climate we live into day. A climate that allows me to have a job that I can have my husband covered by my benefits.

Which you couldn’t have had even ten years ago.

I’m glad of all the things I did 20 years ago when it wasn’t safe to do so.

And I’m glad that people like you and younger have a better world to be gay in, and hold your partners hand, and that websites like this exist.

Even if it’s clear that some young people can’t appreciate others personal experience.

But that’s ok, you don’t even have to say thank you. I would have done it anyway even if someone told me that later, some kid would call me an “olds” and roll his eyes.

You’re welcome anyway.