F*** the Cowboys; Where have all the Lesbians Gone
This post was submitted by Allison who, like Stephanie, wants more out of DC’s lesbian community.
Every gay male event in DC is packed to the brim with gay men. I can’t even say “vodka cranberry” before someone’s balls are in my mouth (not complaining). Lesbian Events in D.C. (besides Pride and the L Word Premier) do not compare. Last week, my friend Stephanie and I went to Be Bar for their new weekly lesbian event. At first, the event was substantially full, but the crowd thinned out rather quickly. True, it was a Wednesday evening. However weekend lesbian events in D.C. do not differ.
The following weekend some friends and I went to DuPont Circle. Bars were packed, and we all danced in our ‘apple bottom jeans, and boots with the fur.’ Everything was great until my girlfriend kissed me. Immediately after, 4 or 5 men asked us to kiss again and physically pushed us. Other girls looked us up and down as if we were making a scene. It was the “could you do that somewhere else?” look. After ONE kiss. True, this bar had a high douche bag ratio, but it’s not like I was giving her a motorboat (note to self: must perform motorboat in public).
I’m tired of having to choose: “do I have a ‘gay’ night tonight or a ’straight’ night.” Why do there have to be such large extremes? A not-so-well-attended lesbian event vs. a hyper-heterosexual fraternity party. WHERE HAVE ALL THE LESBIANS GONE? If we attended these lesbian events at Be Bar, Town, Taboo, DC 9, there might be more!
Maybe I just answered my own question: Why would gay women want to be around douche bags like those described above? Is this why we are hibernating at home watching “But I’m a Cheerleader?” My girlfriend suggested that many lesbians may not “like” lesbian culture. Or maybe it’s just the “D.C.” lesbian scene? Maybe it’s that women have more powerful jobs and don’t identify with stereotypical “lesbian” interests. Does that mean they can’t come out to play?
It better not be the “I have a girlfriend and want to stay home” syndrome. That’s for sure.
I spit coffee through my nose while reading this. ha!
“I can’t even say “vodka cranberry” before someone’s balls are in my mouth”
Possibly one of the funniest statements I’ve ever read. But you’re right, no ladies nightlife here. When I went to the L Word Premiere I was utterly shocked to see more than 20 lesbians in a bar… in DC… past 9 pm.
Yes, very funny indeed, but I’m a bit sad and annoyed to see more judging, bitching, and complaining. It’s especially disheartening b/c there are folks out there trying to make it a better scene and the statements being made here seemingly come w/o much effort to make positive change. :-( As Gandhi’s attributed to have said, “…be the change you want to see…”
Also, I think you may be looking in the wrong places for what you want… if you want some suggestions, tell me what you want, and I’d be happy to supply them.
Allison, Stephanie and the anonymous lesbians,
Recent posts have made me realize that it’s really hard to meet women (which I completely agree with, having very few lesbian friends myself), so I’m in the process of planning a ladies happy hour. Keep checking back to TNG for details!
a lot of queer ladies are organizing the girls rock d.c. summer camp. when i moved to d.c., ladyfest organizing was in full-swing, so that was a really good way to meet folks & know about parties.
these things aside–all the ladies have gone to the bay area. i have like nine friends moving there this summer. fuck s.f.
Hi Laura:
You are completely right! There is nothing worse than people complaining about something, while simultaneously not doing anything about it. A main aspect of my post is how Lesbian events are not well attended, and in no way slanders those who are trying to connect vaginas all over D.C. land. My “bitching” was more of a “Hey unknown lesbians! Let’s get out there and go to these events!” Recent comments above have already enlightened me of new and thriving ideas for lesbian gathering and ways to meet people (thank you coach, ms. C, and anonymous).
However in addition to lesbian gatherings, I also wanted to share my observations and questions about D.C. lesbian culture, about the extremes of D.C. night life in general. You mentioned you know of other bars, clubs events..well I would be honored if you became my new lesbian GPS. Please e-mail me: allison.oflinn@gmail.com.
i think we’re on the right track already! at least now we can start pointing each other out by “…eh, that’s the girl that wrote…” we can wait till later to charm each other into friendship.
anyway, maybe we should just start an east coast san fran. or midwest, i’d actually prefer the midwest. let’s just all start spreading a nationwide rumor that columbus, ohio is brimming to the rim with queers.
Actually, I’m from Columbus and the ladies outnumber the men there. We had over 5 bars all to ourselves. It was vastly different from DC.
I agree with you all though - let’s keep each other in the know of where to go around DC. We’re out there, we’re just not all at the same place.
do write ups on all these events and send them to TNG, please. We might as well be a hub.
we need more critical sass bike rides to queer nites. roll deep with a bike gang, warriors.
Hilarious, sad, and true. Except Fab Lounge around 11ish on Friday nights can be a lot of fun, you should check it out.
Thanks for this post. I’m often wondering were the lady gays are. I’m excited at the prospect of meeting one, or a few or many. Mmmm…many, that would be good.
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