Today, TNG doubles your hetero! The Most Serene Republic plays with Miracle Fortress at DC9 tonight (show starts at 9), so why not get straight person opinions from both of them?

TMSR is a Toronto six-piece band who are the first artist signed to Arts & Crafts Records that aren’t somehow affiliated with Broken Social Scene. Their sole woman, Emma Ditchburn, got her question back to me in about 15 minutes, making her a TNG record holder. Way to go, Emma!

Miracle Fortress, from Montreal, is mostly just Graham Van Pelt plus a few musicians he lined up to tour with him. That makes me even more honored that he is gracing us with his answers. Miracle Fortress has a pretty good Digital Love cover, and their “Maybe Lately” is a completely credible Beach Boys shout-out. Way to go, Graham!

Their third act, Liam Finn, never got back to me. But I think these two give me more than enough poppy Canadian reasons to go out tonight. See you all there, TNG-ers.

The New Gay: When did you first realize you were straight?

Emma Ditchburn: I had my first gander of the male anatomy at a very early age and never looked back. I was probably about 5, a neighbour’s backyard in a Fisher Price play house with a male friend of mine; he showed me his and the rest is history.

Graham Van Pelt: I guess it wouldn’t really have occurred that I was “straight” to me until I had found out people could be “gay”. There has been plenty of ambiguity on the subject in my life. I think it wasn’t until I was in my 20s that I was completely sure that any attractions I had towards men didn’t get very far beyond personal admiration. I kissed a guy during a round of spin-the-bottle and was very put off by the stubble/odors/poor coordination.

TNG: What is your least favorite stereotype about straight people?

ED: That straight women should only wear uncomfortable shoes.

GVP: Can’t say I really give it much thought. I probably exemplify a few of the more benign ones.

TNG: What are the biggest challenges faced by a straight guy in todays culture?

ED: The biggest challenges I face are trying to find balances in all areas of being a woman, feeling sexy, feeling empowered and productive, putting energy appropriately towards all the facets of life that are important to me. Although I think these challenges probably exist for everyone in this speedy, sexy age.

GVP: Navigating amongst other straight men is a nerve-wracking and embarrassing process with it’s own special set of mystifying frustrations.

TNG: What kinds of bars do you like to go to?

ED: I like cozy, quiet, pub type bars where one might encounter a Trivial Pursuit match or just good conversation. Good music is also key.

GVP: I guess I prefer low-key places where people speak in indoor voices. For me it’s either that or some punk show where people in their mid-20s still stage-dive. The last place I want to be is some mating hall with a loud blog-music DJ, crappy/expensive drinks, and nowhere to sit.

TNG: What obligations, if any, do you think you have to the gay community?

ED: I don’t know that I feel any obligation, unless I saw some sort of grave injustice occurring in front of my eyes which I could change. Then I would feel compelled to step in and let justice be served.

GVP: I have plenty of respect for the communities I’ve been exposed to in Montreal. I don’t really feel like they would want much from me by way of obligations, other than reminding myself of their importance and supporting them when I should.

TNG: Emma, You’re the lone girl among the six other guys in most serene republic. Have you picked up any kind of smurfette role among the guys? Do they spare you their gross boy habits or have you just resigned yourself to them?

ED: We all share the same sick, twisted sense of humour and same gross habits, nothing spared, and nothing to resign to. We fit together like spaghetti and meatballs.

TNG: Graham, how did you decide to cover Digital Love, the song that I think most represents pure joy? Were you scared that you would fuck it up? (Though, for the record, I think you really did it justice.)

GVP: Discovery has been one of my favorite albums since it came out. I remember getting it right away and listening to it all the time on my own. (My high-school friends in the small town where I grew up might have called it/me “gay” at the time, actually, since it was a part of this horrifying gay thing they called “Electronica”). Anyways I felt like that song could have been recorded as straight pop 40 years ago and still would’ve been a hit, so I approached it that way. I left all the wordless dance sections in as jammy bits.

TNG: Why should people come out to see you play at DC9?

ED: If you miss the show you will be cursed to spend the rest of your life trying to build a time machine to get back to it.

GVP: Hopefully there’s nothing else going on that night.

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