Comments on: Sex: An Open Letter to the Men at My Gym http://thenewgay.net/2008/01/open-letter-to-men-at-my-gym.html For Everyone Over the Rainbow Wed, 23 May 2012 20:37:13 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.3 By: Alan http://thenewgay.net/2008/01/open-letter-to-men-at-my-gym.html#comment-13332 Alan Fri, 17 Jul 2009 05:45:40 +0000 http://tngmichael.wordpress.com/2008/01/04/an-open-letter-to-the-men-at-my-gym/#comment-13332 I agree with Chris in that NO-one should be harassed whether in a gym locker room or out on the street. Being a bisexual male, I can appreciate a nice looking male, but I can do it without staring or otherwise making him feel uncomfortable. People need to stop and think; My rights end where another person's rights begin! If I feel uncomfortable being stared at, I should not stare at or ogle others. Hello, GOLDEN RULE! If you must get a sexual KICK out of seeing another person, make a quick mental picture of them, move on, and fantasize in the privacy of your OWN home! I agree with Chris in that NO-one should be harassed whether in a gym locker room or out on the street. Being a bisexual male, I can appreciate a nice looking male, but I can do it without staring or otherwise making him feel uncomfortable.

People need to stop and think; My rights end where another person’s rights begin! If I feel uncomfortable being stared at, I should not stare at or ogle others. Hello, GOLDEN RULE!

If you must get a sexual KICK out of seeing another person, make a quick mental picture of them, move on, and fantasize in the privacy of your OWN home!

]]> By: Chris http://thenewgay.net/2008/01/open-letter-to-men-at-my-gym.html#comment-13328 Chris Fri, 17 Jul 2009 03:06:22 +0000 http://tngmichael.wordpress.com/2008/01/04/an-open-letter-to-the-men-at-my-gym/#comment-13328 Thanks so much for articulating this problem so well Zack. And it is indeed that: a problem. I have been going to different gyms for the better part of ten years now, and can safely say I have been sexually harassed by (I'm assuming, gay) men about a dozen times. I have been inappropriately and incessantly glared at in mirrors, had men masturbating in the shower while stealing glances, and been asked to look at phalluses in the sauna. The worst cases were involved actually being followed out of the gym by these offenders. If any of this sounds funny, trust me that it wasn't at all amusing at the time. The larger problem is that there is really no easy solution. As much as I'd like to point out the fact that "since I cannot go into a women's locker room to glare at their naked bodies, that should mean gay men should not be allowed to make me feel similarly uncomfortable in men's locker rooms", that solution would simply be impossible to implement. I guess I just second all of Zack's points, and ask that these predatory gay men just have some fucking decency and respect for those who, regardless of their sexual orientation, just do not want to be harassed, propositioned, stalked, or made to feel uncomfortable in any way after going to the gym. Thanks so much for articulating this problem so well Zack. And it is indeed that: a problem. I have been going to different gyms for the better part of ten years now, and can safely say I have been sexually harassed by (I’m assuming, gay) men about a dozen times. I have been inappropriately and incessantly glared at in mirrors, had men masturbating in the shower while stealing glances, and been asked to look at phalluses in the sauna. The worst cases were involved actually being followed out of the gym by these offenders. If any of this sounds funny, trust me that it wasn’t at all amusing at the time.

The larger problem is that there is really no easy solution. As much as I’d like to point out the fact that “since I cannot go into a women’s locker room to glare at their naked bodies, that should mean gay men should not be allowed to make me feel similarly uncomfortable in men’s locker rooms”, that solution would simply be impossible to implement. I guess I just second all of Zack’s points, and ask that these predatory gay men just have some fucking decency and respect for those who, regardless of their sexual orientation, just do not want to be harassed, propositioned, stalked, or made to feel uncomfortable in any way after going to the gym.

]]> By: Pear http://thenewgay.net/2008/01/open-letter-to-men-at-my-gym.html#comment-12091 Pear Sat, 16 May 2009 19:16:01 +0000 http://tngmichael.wordpress.com/2008/01/04/an-open-letter-to-the-men-at-my-gym/#comment-12091 Question: Have someone interested in dating me. He is sweet, funny, loves kids and says I will probably meet his family. We have gone on a few dates. He says he is straight but works out at a gay gym at least 3 times a week. He says he is confident with his masculinity and that he just happen to accidently enroll in a gay gym but now feels comfortable there. I have gay coworker that is gay and been gay her whole life. She wouldn't even go to a gay gym. Should I be worried? Err, really I do feel a little worried that a) he is not being honest with me or b) not honest with himself. Question: Have someone interested in dating me. He is sweet, funny, loves kids and says I will probably meet his family. We have gone on a few dates. He says he is straight but works out at a gay gym at least 3 times a week. He says he is confident with his masculinity and that he just happen to accidently enroll in a gay gym but now feels comfortable there. I have gay coworker that is gay and been gay her whole life. She wouldn’t even go to a gay gym. Should I be worried? Err, really I do feel a little worried that a) he is not being honest with me or b) not honest with himself.

]]> By: Anonymous http://thenewgay.net/2008/01/open-letter-to-men-at-my-gym.html#comment-532 Anonymous Fri, 20 Feb 2009 21:52:00 +0000 http://tngmichael.wordpress.com/2008/01/04/an-open-letter-to-the-men-at-my-gym/#comment-532 It's preceded, not proceeded. It’s preceded, not proceeded.

]]> By: Hans http://thenewgay.net/2008/01/open-letter-to-men-at-my-gym.html#comment-531 Hans Sat, 05 Jan 2008 01:52:00 +0000 http://tngmichael.wordpress.com/2008/01/04/an-open-letter-to-the-men-at-my-gym/#comment-531 This is why I throw my clothes on as quickly as possible and flee home to shower. This is why I throw my clothes on as quickly as possible and flee home to shower.

]]> By: Anonymous http://thenewgay.net/2008/01/open-letter-to-men-at-my-gym.html#comment-530 Anonymous Sat, 05 Jan 2008 00:28:00 +0000 http://tngmichael.wordpress.com/2008/01/04/an-open-letter-to-the-men-at-my-gym/#comment-530 Not to be an asshole, but if you don't want that kind of attention at your gym, then go to a different gym. One of the unique perks of being gay is the excitement of discovering a gay gym, or rather a gay locker room. Its like some sort of karmic retribution for all that ass kicking we got in the locker rooms in high school. If guys are sneaking peaks, suck it up, take it as a compliment and use the private shower. If you're so scared of the conditioner, then bring your own. Otherwise stop going to that gym, there's plenty of other gyms out there...most of them cheaper than the fancy ones that attract the gays. But you won't because you admit that you steal glances too but are more "discreet" than everyone else. So who's really to blame? Not to be an asshole, but if you don’t want that kind of attention at your gym, then go to a different gym. One of the unique perks of being gay is the excitement of discovering a gay gym, or rather a gay locker room. Its like some sort of karmic retribution for all that ass kicking we got in the locker rooms in high school. If guys are sneaking peaks, suck it up, take it as a compliment and use the private shower. If you’re so scared of the conditioner, then bring your own. Otherwise stop going to that gym, there’s plenty of other gyms out there…most of them cheaper than the fancy ones that attract the gays. But you won’t because you admit that you steal glances too but are more “discreet” than everyone else. So who’s really to blame?

]]> By: Anonymous http://thenewgay.net/2008/01/open-letter-to-men-at-my-gym.html#comment-529 Anonymous Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:32:00 +0000 http://tngmichael.wordpress.com/2008/01/04/an-open-letter-to-the-men-at-my-gym/#comment-529 Parker, <br/><br/>Per your comment about straight guys checking out schlongs. I found this online:<br/><br/><a HREF="http://www.ubersite.com/m/18982" REL="nofollow">http://www.ubersite.com/m/18982</a><br/><br/>This post merges quite nicely with Ben's previous post about the soap-dropping. Parker,

Per your comment about straight guys checking out schlongs. I found this online:

http://www.ubersite.com/m/18982

This post merges quite nicely with Ben’s previous post about the soap-dropping.

]]> By: Parker http://thenewgay.net/2008/01/open-letter-to-men-at-my-gym.html#comment-528 Parker Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:23:00 +0000 http://tngmichael.wordpress.com/2008/01/04/an-open-letter-to-the-men-at-my-gym/#comment-528 i like how you admit that you look at cocks in the locker room too. you're just "discrete" about it. dick looking happens in all gyms. at your gym (which i know is also sometimes mine) some (most?) guys hope the dick looking will lead to dick sucking or dick sitting on. but i think even straight guys in "straight" gyms are curious about what the guy next door is packing and how they measure up. i like how you admit that you look at cocks in the locker room too. you’re just “discrete” about it. dick looking happens in all gyms. at your gym (which i know is also sometimes mine) some (most?) guys hope the dick looking will lead to dick sucking or dick sitting on. but i think even straight guys in “straight” gyms are curious about what the guy next door is packing and how they measure up.

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