When somebody mentions your “special friend,” affect a somewhat stagey but not altogether unbelievable look of incomprehension … sort of like Lt. Data from “Star Trek: The New Gay” accessing his backup memory core.

Then allow a joyous grin to spread across your face as the term “special friend” finally computes.

Warmly announce, “Oh, you must mean my BOYFRIEND, Michael!”

No bitchiness allowed. The point is to correct the person without seeming to correct them. This is a case of incompatible vocabulary and should be treated as such. It’s a translation glitch, not an attack.

Allow the conversation to resume as normal. All but the most oblivious conversationalist will have gotten the hint.

the highlight of the season so far (besides the detroit game and the recent win over the redskins) was the video someone shot for the eagles web site of mcnabb and the receivers at an informal, shirtless practice at mcnabb’s house in arizona. jeremy bloom was on the team then too so you know it was great.

michael’s gonna be so pissed about all of this football talk . . .

I have a lady in my office who has a gay brother and is pretty cool, but she uses the “friend” thing when asking about my boyfriend. It bugs me as well. They grew up in a culture that shamed our sexuality, so it’s harder for them to break out of some bad habits. Try to see it from the perspective that they are trying to meet us half way. We need to walk them through the rest of the way. I firmly believe that we train people how to treat us.